Switchblade
by xxRobinxx
Summary: The Joker looks down at his body to only find he's back into a 14 year old teenage boy by the name of Jake. Joker, and six other classic batman villains find themselves face to face with a dilemma concerning 7 teenage kids & their switched out lives.OC'S!
1. Stupid is as Stupid Does

Standing up on top of a mountain range surrounding part of Gotham City on a power plant they recently broke into, Selina rolled her eyes at Poison Ivy and Twoface fighting as she leans on a pole twirling her tail around, annoyed. "Hey! I don't know WHAT you guys are doing but we need to hurry up and get the toxins…,"She sighs "this is the LAST time I partner up with you six annoying freaks…."

The Joker filled up the last carton of toxins and says in a scary menacing voice "Catwoman shut up! We're finished here…." Kicks the dead bodies that they killed into the toxic and watched as they sizzled into a liquid pools of nothing.

Harley Quinn smiles widely and swings her mallet over her shoulder just barely missing Ivy in the face "It's about time puddin'! My body was achin' hard!" She grins and slips over a pool of scattered toxins and slips "Whoah! whoah!" She tries to balance herself and knocks into a 300 pound tank of nuclear green waste that wobbles. "Uh……oh….."

Twoface's eyes go wide as the tank topples into another tank…and another…and another. It was a domino effect that would soon change their live forever.

The Joker kicks Harley when she's down over and over repeatedly "WHAT S YOUR ISSUE!?" he spat, his eyes flaring.

"I-I'm sorry Mista J! It was an accident!" Harley says with fear in her eyes as she cowers

"Maybe this isn't so bad after all" Scarecrow said with a wicked smirk across his face, "The toxins are headed for the park."

Harley smiles at the thought "I wanna see!!!" She dashes off down the hill

"Harleen Quinzel!!! Get your ass back here!!!" Ivy rolls her eyes and chases after Harley followed by the others.

Twoface dodges twigs and branches coming his way from all angles and runs as fast as he can after Harley knowing she's about to do something incredibly stupid. As always, he was right.

The Riddler was close to Twoface running, thinking to himself that an intellectual like him shouldn't have to be doing this.

If everyone had the brains like Riddler, then their lives wouldn't have gotten so stirred up. As Joker is the first to reach the bottom of the hill he pants and slaps Harley over the head again "We could get killed by the toxic you imbasil! (Sp) We NEED to make sure it goes nowhere NEAR us!"

In the background you could hear thousands of people screaming as they watch green ooze gaining speed as it goes down the steep hill all except for Gotham City Park, whose view was hidden by a bunch of trees.

"Heh-Oops…" Harley said innocently

"Oops?! Oops?! That's all you have to say for yourself!?!?!!" Riddler snapped at her

"Hm-yup!!" Before she could say anything else the toxins oozed down the hill, mixing with gases and hit the villains before they could save themselves.


	2. Yearbook Signing

Every now and then Hannah would look up and smile shyly at Jake underneath her blonde hair hanging down from her face masking her eyes. He smiled back at her in between signing people's yearbooks and occaisonally waved. This was what Hannah found more exciting than anything else that day...knowing that all summer she could spend it with him.

Jake, on the other hand, had his own ideas for the summer which included a long list of activities somehow..in someway involved Batman. His obsession was simply standing up for the good and justice side of Gotham City right along side Batman as his in-exclusive number one fan. As cute as he was the last thing on his mind was girls. Especially his best friend.

"Heh-will you sign my yearbook, Jake?" Hannah said blushing lightly. She always spoke quietly and shyly, making sure she would never interupt anyone else. Her life, in a nut shell, was to be boring, proper, and never do ANYTHING stupid. Which was very odd for a 14 year old girl.

Jake smiles lightly "Hannah? Really-you didn't need to ask...if you wanted to just shove it in my face & force me to sign it...I'm your best friend..."chuckles and takes out his pen. Before it could even touch the paper Harry tackled him from behind, laughing as he did so.

Harry was, and forever will be, the most eccentric person you will ever know. Simply because everything about him was already solved, already done for....the way he dressed,acted, and talked was how he was. That's why he was eccentric. There was no puzzle or mystery about this guy, only a straight road leading to one heart,one brain, one mind. That's why he was such great friends with Jake and their other friend, Evan. Evan's dumb and can't handle strange personalities and Jake loves it when things are normal and not chaotic. (Unless,of course, Batman was involved...)

"Harry! Dude get off of me-"Jake says and pushes Harry off and laughs along. "Don't you have a girlfriend to commit PDA with!?"

"Yeah," Harry said laughing, "But you're SO much more fun to make my bitch!"

"Shhh!!!! Guys!! Don't curse! The teacher will be back any minute!!!" James said nervously through his teeth. James was scared...of EVERYTHING. Whether it was a paranoia of diseases or bugs or simply being scared of monsters or the dark....he was scared, and he let those fears take over his life.

"Chillax James..... Let your besty best friends take care of this! We won't let you get catched" Evan says dumbly.

Jake rolls his eyes "it's caught...Evan. We won't let you get CAUGHT."laughs loudly "How the hell did you even make it to the third grade!?" Again...Evan was dumb.

Paula smirks and struts up to Harry, sits down on his lap and runs her hands through his hair "Simple,summer school...and our incredibly rich parents." Paula not only was the school's biggest slut and richest girl there, but also fraternal twins with the dumbest kid in the 9th grade.

As Harry sighs, he gently pushes Paula off his lap and smirks "Sorry...making out isn't on the list today" he gulps and chuckles lightly.

"Right...that stupid life list of your's" Paula rolls her eyes and sighs"I give up!"

While the others were having one of their best friend moments, Hannah backs away slowly and bumps into one of her class mates, Sarah. "Oh! I'm so sorry!"

Sarah is quiet and quite plain looking. She takes off her glasses and cleans them thoroughly. "It's Ok Hannah-" smiles and has always envied Hannah's beauty, "It was my fault anyways....I wasn't looking where I was going"

Hannah frowns "Sarah? Really-you need to take charge for once, even if it's for something as little as accepting that not EVERYTHING is your fault..." smiles warmly.

Sarah just stares down at the ground and walks away, sighing. Hannah sighs aswell '_At least I tried....'_

As he thoroughly applies hand sanitizer to his pale skin, James sighs heavily "Please, just stop you guys! I'm getting sick from just hearing you people talk!"

Evan rolls his eyes and grins "OMG!!!! A giant hamster!!!!!" laughs as James falls to the floor screaming "Aw-your goop felled on the floor" he pointed out to Jake.

James groans as he picks himself up"First of all, that wasn't funny! Second of all it's not goop! It's hand lotion! And third! You forgot to sign Hannah's yearbook, Jake..." James sits back in his chair and continues rubbing his hands with his 'goop.'

"You're right! I forgot to-" Jake was then rudely interrupted by the last bell of the school year.

Harry jumps out of his seat in a quick haste "Whatever you were about to say can wait! Party time at the park people!"

Paula rolls her eyes as she gets up and grabs her yearbook "is partying on your list?" she asks sarcastically.

Harry chuckles and pecks her on the cheek "Yes, yes it was-"

-

Later, at Gotham City Park!!!

Hannah blushes lightly and walks slowly over Jake smiling "Hey...w-will you sign my yearbook NOW?"

Jake smiles and takes hold of her yearbook "Of course...I'd love to-" looks up to the sky and instead of the summer sun shining down see's a huge tidal wave of toxic gases. Those similiar to the ones that gave the Joker his scars. Jake screams and like any normal person would, grabbed hold onto the nearest person, (Hannah) screamed for dear life, and shut his eyes tight, as the wave crashed down on Jake and surrounding him and the others in a pool of green liquid.


	3. WTF?

Harvey (Twoface) blinks after the sudden cold sensation of the liquid washing over him and pauses. He feels as though something about him isn't right…it's out of order somehow. He pulls out his pants and looks down. "WTF!? WHY AM I SMALL!? ID RATHER BE DEAD!" Harvey is now in Harry's teenage body looking as though he was young again.

Jack (the Joker) laughs at Harvey until he realizes he's the same height. He blinks and also looks down his pants….Jake's pants to be more exact. "Where's little joker..?!"

Selina (Catwoman) rolls her eyes "what is it with men and their dicks?" She looks down and in the reflection in a pool of toxic waste sees how ugly she is as she is in Sarah's body and screams.

Johnathon (Scarecrow) sighs and is just thankful whoever he turned out to be also wears glasses. He looks up to Evan, whom he presumes to be the Riddler and cocks his head to the side "Wha-what happened to us?? Why are we so….puny?"

Riddler thinks carefully using the Scientific method and comes up with a reasonable solution "Well, it could be that the chemicals from the toxins BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH….."

"What?????" replied everyone in confusion

"We switched bodies with hormonal teenagers who probably bitch a lot" Riddler explained

"Ohhhhhhhh-" stated the villains while the 'teens' were just about to pick themselves up.

xxBMxx

Jake's first thought that was running through his head was somewhere along the lines of 'Why do I feel so tall?? And disgusting….??'. Jake sniffs himself and practically gags at the smell coming from the Joker's body. He looks around to see what happened to the others and screams when he sees Harley Quinn, Hannah. "AH! It's Harley Quinn!" He hits her with a giant stick, apparently not knowing he's the Joker and the person he's violating with a stick being his best friend.

Hannah screams at the sight of Jake, hating clowns, and goes down to the ground in half-fedal position yelling "PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! I'M JUST A KID!"

"A kid!? Nice try!!! You heartless bitch!!!!!" Jake screams as he hits her.

"Wtf do you mean??? You're th-the Joker!!" Hannah cowers as the name leaves her lips.

Jake rolls his eyes "Nice try! But the Joker is….."looks down and realizes he is, in fact, the Joker. He screams and flails his arms around "WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF!?!?!??!"

Hannah bites her bottom lip "Jake? Is-is that you…? It's me…Hannah"

Jake stops flailing his arms around and looks into Harley's eyes, somewhere in there finding his best friend. "If your Hannah…and I'm Jake….then why are we Joker and Harley Quinn?? IIs this some sort of dream? Am I dead?"

Hannah slowly shakes her head "I don't think so…I-I'm kind of scared…." She sniffs and rubs her eyes, smudging the makeup. "I don't like this…"

Jake yells "And you think I do!? Do you know how bad this is!?"

Hannah sniffs again and quietly says "Please…please don't yell…I'm afraid of clowns."

Jake remembers her phobia and stops yelling. Smudges off as much makeup as he can and realizes something "Where's everyone else?"

"I-I don't know…" Hannah replies not really looking at him

"G-guys???" James calls out with fear in his voice "Wh-where are you!?"

Harry is with Paula, who are now TwoFace and Poison Ivy who went through just about the same routine as Hannah and Jake. Harry looks nervously to Paula and after a moments consideration calls out to Jake "Jake!? Evan!? James!? Whoever is calling for someone…I'm right here! I'm with Paula! It's Harry!"

James is with Evan, cowering behind a bush and jumps slightly at the sound of people yelling for each other. He's relieved to hear a familiar name and he turns to Evan, the Riddler, and says "I think it's safe to come out now…"he gulps and stands up, his eyes shut tight hoping that he's right and that whoever just called was actually someone he knew.

"Whoa…we look….like…all grown up people" Evan said examining his new body.

James sighs "We've been through this Evan. I know I look like a 40 year old virgin" he rolls his eyes as Evan laughs.

As Paula feels her curves of her new body she smirks "Psh….I'm not complaining"

"I-I feel so old" Harry whined as he looked down at his feet.

Jake looks over and is amazed at how up close these people he's learned to grow and hate are. Even though he knows he's actually just Harry he walks up close to TwoFace's body and examines every last detail. He repeats this process about 5 different times. His friends just stand there and watch, understanding about his obsession and not caring at all in the least as they hold down their millions of questions flowing through their brains.

Hannah bites her lower lip and helps and glances over where everyone sees Sarah come out of her hiding place, last seen as a young, nerdy scrawny thing now emerges as a sexy woman who doesn't look a day over 25. Everyone looks up in awe, forgetting about their confusion and distress as to what happened to them.

Sarah, in Selina's body, walks over and smiles lightly "I…I'm so sorry but I followed you guys to the park…I-I mean not that I was _following _persay but…but it's the route I take going home…I-I don't know much but I'm pretty sure this happened because of the…well, because of the toxic that washed over us…." She sounds so scared and insignificant as she looks down at the ground.

Jake nods "You're right, Sarah, that's probably what happened…"

Sarah speaks up, or in her way was speaking up, and quietly says "I know I'm a nerd…and it's stupid for thinking this…but-but I think the toxic maybe…I guess just like in the comic books the toxic sort of, well, made our bodies switch with the people closest to us…."

Everyone looks around to each other and nods in slight agreement, mostly because nobody else had any other sort of explanation. Jake speaks up encouragingly "You know, Sarah, that really doesn't sound so crazy…"

Hannah smiles at Jake and looks to Sarah "Yah, you really shouldn't call yourself nerdy either…like I said before don't put yourself down too much…"

Sarah looks up with a rare smile on her face and brushes a piece of hair away from her eyes "T-thanks…"

Evan is staring fondly at Sarah now and randomly pipes up "Out of curiosity…did you get that from the Megaman comic book #27?'

Paula rolls her eyes and smacks her face at the mention of probably the only thing Evan is intelligent in….comic books.

Sarah giggles a bit and blushes "Yah…I did…and actually, it's #26…" She looks over to Evan and then looks back to the others.

Harry groans "Great…I'm stuck with a couple of comic book reading nerds, a Batman fanatic, a scaredy-cat and-"can't think of anything to say about Hannah and just continues "-I have no list whatsoever…this was NOT on my plan for today…"

James chuckles and shakes his head, not because Harry was funny but because everyone has a way of dealing with things when they were scared and Jame's theory was to laugh it of.

Harry sighs in frustration "Oh well….at least my girlfriend is hot…." He pulls Paula closer and kisses her softly. When he feels a slight discomfort on the right side of his face he pulls away. "Jake….I forgot that I was missing half of my face….didn't I?"

Jake nods slowly "Yah….it's OK though…your girlfriend is green."

Paula looks down at her very revealing costume and shrugs "And I'm OK with that…." She plays with her red hair a bit "I'm just not OK with these plants hanging around me…."

Jake sighs and looks up to the sky while all of this is happening._ Oh God this is a GREAT start to the summer……._


	4. Puberty

Furious and impatient, Harvey just sat there on the ground in a state of shock realizing he no longer has his coin and he's only 5'4. "This.....sucks...."

Pamela rolls her eyes and trys to comb out a few knots in her hair, missing her plants and when she finds a dead flower in her hair, or more like Paula's hair, she flips out in an angry temper tantrum all to herself in her mind.

Jack fumbles through Jake's pockets and finds nothing more than a cellphone, a couple dollars, and a picture of Batman "Well...this is....helpful"

Harley giggles and clings onto Jack "Well don't you look handsome young Mr.J!" Jack just as quickly shoves her off and inspects the cellphone. All it says was 'missed call' about 5 times under the title 'mom'.

"Sweet!!" Jack yelled for joy, "Since we can't go back to our hideout....I guess we'll have to kill an innocent family"he grins

"No!" Edward protested "We can't do that!"

"And why not??" Jack questioned.

"Well...for one thing...we're just kids. We have to blend in." Edward explained.

"Yeah...be cool, groovy, and what ever kids these days call it." Harley said in a laid back tone.

Edward sighs "Actually...Harley is right. Our best bet is just to go to these kid's houses and I'll think of something that can get us out of this mess."

Pam's phone rings and she finds it...in her bra. "Wow...what a lovely kid this girl is...."rolls her eyes and picks up her phone. She puts it on speaker so that the others can hear.

Paula and Evan's mom is then heard on the other side,yelling "PAULA ANTHONY! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU AND YOUR BROTHER!? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CHECK IN OVER TWO HOURS AGO! DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!?"

Pamela is in a state of sheer shock just from being yelled at. _I haven't been yelled at like that since....forever... _"Um...sorry Miss...I mean Mom! Heh-" trys covering up her mistake "Out of curiousity...do you think you and...um...Dad can pick us up?"

The mom yells again "WHAT DAD!? HE DIED 2 YEARS AGO! PAULA GEORGINA ANTHONY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"

"Um-"Pam shakes with confusion"I-i don't know...I'm just a little tired....can you pick us up...please?????? We're scared and confused...maybe a little high....I don't know..."

The mom sighs "Fine..where are you guys?"

Pamela looks around for a sign "We're....at Gotham City Park....near the toxic waste incident..."

Paula's mom's tone is then switched to a tone of worry "Omg you poor baby I'll be there soon!" She hangs up.

Pam is still in shock "Er.....awkard? And...who's my brother exactly?"

Edward,Jack,Harvey, and Johnathon look down at their skin tone and their hair color.

Jack sighs in relief "Nope....not me...."

Johnathon groans "I feel like I'm asian....not me either..." He wasn't asian......johnathon always feels asian.

Pamela looks to Harvey hopefully, not wanting to be with Edward.

Harvey shakes his head "Nope...this random list in my pocket says I'm an only child.." is then looking through this random planner Harry has.

Edward and Pam look to each other in disgust as they realize they both have the same eyes.

Selina smirks and jumps down from the tree she was in, trips over Sarah's shoe laces and lands face first in the dirt, breaking her glasses.

Everyone just laughs at her and Harley is the only one decent enough to help her up.

Harley chuckles"I don't think it's safe for you to do free falls anymore miss kitty" her hair masks her face and groans "Hasn't this kid ever heard of a hair cut??"

Selina's dad texts her saying she needs to head home and she looks up "Brilliant idea you guys..we all seem to be friends, lets just ask Edwards and Pamela's "Mom" to take us all home so we know where we live.

Edward, who usually comes up with the smart plans is taken aback "O..Ok...." He groans "It's as if this kid doesn't have a functioning brain..."

"Haha!!!!" Jack laughs "You're the dunce!!!!"

Harley giggles then frowns. She tries to smile but just doesn't feel like it "I-I feel so depressed and lonley..."

"Psh...I feel like a total slut..." Pam rolls her eyes.

Harvey smirks "It's probably just the teenage hormones..."Sees headlights from a limosine pull up and shields his eyes "Daaaaang Pam...you and Edward are loaded...."

Their mom then precedes to get out of the car and sighs in relief when she sees everyone looks fine and puts her hand over her heart "Oh thank God you seven are alright...you guys know what type of freaks are out this late at night..."

Pam trys her best not to laugh and nods "Um..yah mom...we know what you mean..."

She kisses Edward on the forehead "I was so worried about you guys..."

Edward pulls back and fixes his hair "MOM! DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Edwards mom is taken aback "Excuse me...?"

Forgetting that he shouldn't argue with his mother he gulps, "Heh-S-sorry mother dear."

Jack smirks and just slides in the car "Thanks for givin' us a ride toots."

"What my half wittet oaf of a friend means is that we appretiate you coming down here and helping us in our time of desperation." Edward says glaring at Jack.

"Um-o-ok" The mother says with a look of shock upon her face, hearing 'Evan' talk with a full, clear, confident voice for the very first time.

Harley jumps in the car with as much energy she can suffice and goes on top of Jack's lap. Luckily he pushes her off before the mother can see. The mother looks over to Selina and smiles politely "Well I've never met you before....hi I'm Caroline Anthony...I'm guessing you guys made a new friend?"

Selina looks appalled for a second and wants to flip off smirking Harvey as he gets in next to Pam "Yah..sure...why not?"_ Great...im an outcast...._

Caroline smiles "Well...the more the merrier I guess..." She makes sure all of the kids are in their seatbelts and asks "What's your name?"

Selina doesnt know what to say and quickly checks all of her text messages "Sarah! Heh-My name is Sarah...."looks down at the text again "Wen...del..ixion?" She rolls her eyes as Jack bursts into laughter.

Caroline raises an eyebrow and can tell things aren't right. "Where do you live sweetie?"

Selina wrinkles her nose and has to quickly stall as she texts her "Father" asking where in the world they live.

"Well?" Caroline says impatiently.

"Baker Street," Selina replies "Heh-12384 Baker Street."

"Psh....I remember I shot three policemen there once." Jack mutters under his breath with out the least bit of shame.

Caroline smiles "Ok....I know where that is..." she makes a U-turn and starts driving in that direction. She looks at Harvey in the rear-view mirror and chuckles "What? Your not putting your arms around my daughter? Or is that not on your list today?" she chuckles.

Harvey looks pleased _Score! I get to have my own gf even as a kid! And her father is dead too! _Puts his arm around Pam "I was getting there...."

Pamela rolls her eyes and whispers, "Wow, a list...are you sure you can get used to that?"

"Nah, I'll find a random coin i can use." Harvey says and smirks at Harley who's trying to kiss Jack.

Annoyed and missing the company of Echo and Query, Edward tightens Harley's belt smoothly and Jack gives him a somewhat thankful look.

Caroline drops everyone off at their homes and turns to her children "Is everything alright you two? Everyone seems to be in an..._off _mood..."

Edward just shrugs "Puberty I guess..."

Caroline is surprised her son even knows that word and gets out of the car when they get home "Go wash up and meet me at dinner Ok?"

Paula gets out of the car and sighs "OK..."

XXBMXX

Harley bounces into the house and smiles widley "Mommy!! Daddy!! I'm home!!!"

"Wahhhhh!!!!" Her mother screams "WTF was that!?!?!" turns to see her daughter (or at least she thought it was her daughter.) "H-hannah?? I-is it a full moon or something???" her mother questioned.

Harley tilts her head,confused, "I'm just...happy to see you...."

Her mom walks over to her and feels her forehead "And when did you start calling me 'mommy' again? You haven't called me that since you were seven..."

Harley smiles "I'm sorry mommy....I mean, Mom..."she bites her lower lip "Are you mad at me?"

Hannah's mom chuckles and hugs her daughter "No...of course not baby.."Pulls away "You're not high or anything though, are you?"

"Psh....I wish!" bursts into laughter and for the first time a long time actually feels at home, "I'm sorry I'm home so late...we were...a little side tracked-heh-" she gulps and hopes her new mom isn't TOO suspicious.

Her mom looks confused but doesn't say anything "Um...OK...that's fine dear." She smiles warmly and kisses her cheek "Go upstairs and your dinner is by your bed sweetie..."

Harley smiles and without thinking spontanieously hugs her "mom" "Thank you!"

Her mom is taken aback but hugs Harley back "Your...er...welome...."

XXBMXX

Harvey steps inside of his house and pauses for a bit, realizing two things right off the bat. Number one, his "house" smelled like Lysol, and number two, it was very...quiet.

"Hello? Is anyone home!?" he calls out, unsure of where to go and what to do.

"SHHHHH!!!!" his 'father' called out "I'm working!"

"And I'm cleaning!!!" his new mom yelled

_Wow,_ Harvey thouhgt, _I'm soooo screwed. _He walks upstairs and looks into five different rooms before he finds one that's presummed his. He sits down on his bed and sighs, running his hands over the soft sheets. _So this is what 'home' feels like...._

He lies back in bed and notices a picture of Harry and Paula together. He smiles lightly and sighs as he puts his arms behind his head _I think I can get used to this..._

He sees a HUGE 'TO DO LIST' whiteboard hanging on his wall and he scrunches up his face in disgust _Or...maybe not..._

_ XXBMXX_

As Jack walks into his new home he doesn't even bother saying 'hello'. Instead, he just goes over to the nearest couch, plops down, and sighs heavily _home sweet home._

Jacks mom, who is one of the most naive yet nicest mothers ever smiles widely when she sees her son and kisses his forehead "Hows my little Jake? You do know you were supposed to come home over an hour ago, right sweetie pie?"

It takes Jack all of his strength to not strangle this woman and sneers "Yes.....mother..."

Jake's mom smiles and ruffles his hair "Don't do it again, Ok?"

Jack sighs "I'm going to my room..." he starts up the stairs and as he enters his room (Obvious since theres a big sign that says 'Jake's room'with a batman sumbol on it) he hears a loud "Mommy loves you!" before slamming the door shut.

Jack shivers with disgust_ I hate that woman_,_ note to self: "Kill this kid's mother when switched back _He sighs & examines the atmosphere and screams. Every wall and every corner had a giant poster of batman. Jack hides his face under the pillow and looks up to the ceiling screams even louder to find a giant poster saying, 'JOKER CAN SUCK IT!!!!!!'

His mother comes running upstairs and goes into the room "What's wrong honey!?"

Jack groans loudly and says "Leave me alone!"

Jake's mom isn't fazed by this at all and sits down on his bed "You can tell me anything, love...is this girl troubles?"

Jack at first wants to tell this person off but instead thinks of something devious and cruel "Mom...I'm gay..."_Who can suck it now!?_

Being a perfect christian person it takes his mother several moments to coprehend this "Oh...dear....." she bites her lips "That...would explain the posters..."

**(Authors note: THink about it like this...Batman isn't commercialized....he TOOK these pictures BTW....thought id...youd know, throw that out there)**

Jack grins evily and nods "Yup! I'm as straight as a rainbow mom! In fact-" goes over and licks one of the posters.

The mother has a complete look of shock on her face. She runs to the phone and calls up her priest.

Jack just smirks and shuts the door _How do you like that now Jake!?_

_ XXBMXX_

Johnathon walks into his house and is immediately in shock "No....way...." All around the house were screaming, tiny little children running about "No...no...no....this can't be-" Sees a sign on the door and gasps _IM A FOSTER KID!!!!_

One of the little toddlers pulls on his legs and smiles "James! You're home!"

Johnathon groans and shoves the kid away a bit "Yah...no duh kid..."

The toddler frowns and starts to cry. He runs away from Johnathon and around a corner. Johnathon sighs and climbs up the fleet of stairs, ready to take on his foster parents and figure out where the hell he sleeps.

"Um...what are you,lost?" A girl about his age smirks and folds her arms across her chest "Dude, you know where our room is...or, are you afraid of germs...?"

Johnathon raises an eyebrow "Um, I'm sorry did you say OUR room?" _Swell....just...swell-_

"Um-yeah..."the girl smirks, "you know....we're room-mates." Smiles and points to a dorm room with a sign hanging from the door saying: 'Jenny and James'. "Yah...OUR room."

Johnathon smiles and goes into the room "Well...I can get used to this..."

Jenny chuckles and closes the door behind her "What was that?"

Johnathon turns around,facing Jenny and sighs "Nothing..."

Jenny shrugs "Whatever...I swear to God everyday you get weirder and weirder..." She sits on her bed and pulls out her Horror book.

Johnathon tilts his head, recognizing the book "What are you reading..."

Jenny looks up "Oh...something you wouldn't like....it's a horror book...but you know, you're scared of everything."

Johnathon looks appalled "Excuse me...but I don't think so..."He sits down next to her and reaches over for the book opened up to the 'headless horseman' page, his favorite. (DUH...)

Jenny is taken aback at Jame's (Or what she thinks is Jame's) new personality and scoots closer to him, liking it "Well...I can get used to this too-"

XXBMXX

Selina goes into her house and smiles at how nice it is. She frowns when she sees the 'No Pets' sign hanging over the door and already misses her cats. "Er...Dad? I'm home..."

Her father comes in,licking his fingers from cooking and smiles "Hey baby girl-dinner's ready..."

Selina is happy at how warm and welcome this place is and smiles back at her presumed father "Yah...Ok..." Sees that there's no wedding ring on his finger and frowns.

Her dad sees this and looks concerned "Sarah? You alright?"

Selina isn't used to being called Sarah and after a few seconds realizes he's addressing her "Um, yah...I was just thinking about mom..I guess"

Her dad chuckles "I thought you would be happy that she's out of our lives..."

Selina,intrigued, asks politely "Why would that be?"

Her dad's face shows a mask of uneasiness and shame as he quietly says "Let's...not talk about this now,Sarah-"

Curiousity killed the cat, but that was a risk Selina was willing to take "I was hit by toxic gases today...at the park...I want to know what happened...I-I forgot..."

Sarah's father bites his lower lip, belieiving this story since he saw it on the news and says "She came home late...drunk a lot....remember? She would....she would..." Bows his head not wanting to say this as if not wanting to re-live the memory.

Selina cocks her hed to the side and says "She would do what...?"

The dad looks up and quietly says "Sarah...honey she used to abuse you..mentally and physically...she would call you names that no mother should do and then every time you made the littlest of mistakes would hurt you..in.....awful ways....don't you remember?"

At this point Selina was in total shock. She looks down at her pale,skinny,body and bites her lower lip.

"She's at Arkham....where she belongs..."looks down at the floor and sighs, heavily.

Selina looks down at the ground and doesn't feel so confident for once "I'm sorry...Dad..."

In which her "father" replied "Don't be sorry to me....it's nothing for you to say sorry about baby girl..."

XXBMXX

Pamela sits down at the neatly set table and smiles. As she looks up from her plate sees a giant family portrait above the fireplace. She examines it for a while and leans over to Edward whispering, "Isn't their father the guy you killed acouple years back?"

Edward looks up and nearly chokes on his food. He reaches for his water and takes huge, messy gulps of it before placing it back down and coughs. Whispers back "Oh God...yes...-"

Caroline walks in from getting another drink of water and chuckles "what are you two whispering about now?"

Pam pulls back and says "Nothing...Mom...heh-"She takes a sip of her drink, noting that the mother is still wearing her wedding ring. She frowns.

Edward, now layed down with an emotion he hasn't felt in a while, guilt, sighs heavily and picks at his food. _I killed a guy whose wife is now giving me free food....I feel douchy..._

Caroline smiles at her children and turns to what she thinks is her son "Evan, honey don't forget that summer school starts soon"

Edward looks up and says, "I'm sorry, repeat that?I was thinking about something"

Pamela laughs out loud and rolls her eyes.

Their "mom" looks concerned "Evan? You were thinking?"

This causes another arousing bit of laughter from Pam and Edward narrows his eyes. _Whoever this kid is needs help.....actually..whoever these KIDS are needs help...._


	5. MidLife Crisis

Hannah and the others sit down, contemplating their options. She sighs heavily and picks at the grass, not used to being so tall. She removes the hat and groans as it annoys her and flings it somewhere else "I wanna go home..."

"Well..." Harry started, "Obviously we can't. He sighs, 'And I hate this voice! It doesn't fit me a lot! I sound like a drunk, washed up actor!"

"You mean David Spade?" Jake asked

"Yah! That guy! But this guy sounds better! I don't sound that stupid." Harry complained

"At least you don't sound like a mix between Ned Flanders and Bugs Bunny!" Jake said impatiently "I hate this!"

"Ha! I sound the coolest!" James said happily

"Shut up, James!" Jake yelled

"Hey! Don't be mean to him! Just because you look like an ass-whole, doesn't mean you have to act like one too!" Hannah spat out. "Whoa...That felt good" she giggles.

Paula rolls her eyes "Can the five of you just shut up about the voices!? It's annoying and the LEAST of our problems....we need to figure out what we're going to do....and do it fast."Looks up at the dark sky and sighs. She pulls her legs up to her chest and frowns.

Evan reaches over to comfort his sister but is hastily beaten to it by Harry and he just pulls his hand back. He smiles over to Sarah who returns the favor and suddenly Evan feels like he needs to sneeze. His nose gets all tingly and without any warning lets out a loud sneeze. "A-A-ACHOO!" He coughs afterwards and covers his mouth and nose with his hands.

Harry reaches over and grabs the most random thing he can find in Evan's abundance of pockets and hands it to him "Here...."

Evan smiles "Thank you Harry-" He takes the paper and wipes his nose off with it.

Jake tilts his head "whoah whoah whoah...wait! What IS that?"

Evan holds up the piece of paper "Er-I can't tell...it's covered in my snot...."

Jake doesn't care and reaches up for the paper. Opens it up and Hannah makes a face along with everyone else that Jake is practically fingering Evan's snot.

Harry looks disgusted "Oh-ew...man that's nasty..."

Jake's eyes bug out of his head as he sees what this is "You guys! Do you know what this is?!"he stands up in excitement.

James stands up with him "What!?"

Harry stands up aswell "Besides Evan's snot?"

Jake grins "It's a map to all of their hide-outs!"

"Oh...." Evan raises an eyebrow "Is-is that a good thing?"

"Yes!" Paula jumps for joy "We don't have to sleep on the streets!"

"So?" Hannah said quietly "What are we waiting for??"

Sarah is the last to get up and smiles "Let's go...."

XBMX

When they get to the nearest hideout Jake is going overly obsessive as he looks at every detail of the place, taking it all in. As he passes by a mirror he looks at his reflection and frowns. Staring right back at him was none other than the Joker.

Jake waved, HE waved.

Jake ran his hands through his hair, so did HE.

Jake touched his scars on his lips ever so gently...so did the Joker.

He looks through the pictures and the papers and the numerous failed attempts to kill Batman. Without even realizing what he's doing he starts tearing everything that looks important up into little bits of nothing.

Hannah looks at her reflection as well, "W-well it isn't THAT bad....w-we could get used to it." Jake turns around hearing her.

"Wh-what did you say!? Get USED to it!?" Jake shouted, "I wanna kill myself right now!!! This is horrible!!!!!" He tries to hide the fact that he really wants to slap her right now.

Hannah cowers in fear, "I-I'm sorry!! Geez!...you-you don't have to get so mad!"

Jake's usually calm and controlled temper turns into one in furry "I WOULDN'T GET SO MAD IF YOU DIDN'T SAY SUCH STUPID THINGS!"

Everyone in the room is silent. Harry, being the only one who has ever seen Jake explode like that only once before stands up and puts is hand on Jake's shoulder. "Hey...it's Ok...calm down...Ok? We can get through this...."

Jake takes a deep breathe but by this time it's too late as Hannah, half of her fear of clowns and the other half because Jake has never yelled at her like that, runs into what she supposes is her room and slams the door.

"Hannah...wait...-" Jake takes a step forward but then steps back. He wants to go after her but decides to just walk away into his own room instead so he doesn't loose his temper again.

Paula bites her lower lip and goes up to Harry now "Are they going to be alright?"

Harry sighs and runs his hands through his hair "Yah...yah I'm sure they will...this is just a very difficult position for a couple of 14 year olds to be dealing with is all...it's all OK..."

In order to brighten up the mood a bit, despite his fear of strange places, James looks around the hideout and stumbles across the Riddler's huge library. He looks over his shoulder to see if anyone would want to go exploring with him, being too scared to do it himself, but when he sees that everyone just looks scared and confused he sighs and just sits back down on the couch. Missing Jenny, he pulls his legs up to his chest feeling alone and just as scared and buries his face in his knees.

Sarah mutters quietly to Evan "It isn't always like this....is it?"

Evan sighs and shakes his head "No...usually it's more carefree and fun...Jake has this..." he doesn't know quite how to say it. "Just...know that this isn't like us..."

Sarah nods,uneasily, and puts her chin in her hands as she rests her elbows on her crossed legs. "How long do you think it's going to stay like this?"

Evan shrugs "I'm the stupid one..remember?" he chuckles.

Sarah,however,shakes her head. "No....your not stupid..."she smiles lightly and tucks her hair behind her ears. "You seem quite smart to me....you have potential....you're just not trying..."

"Um-" Evan says confused, "Heh-no one's ever said anything like that to me before..."

Sarah smiles warmly and bashes her eyelashes a bit. She puts her warm hand on his cheek and looks him in the eye "Sometimes....all a person needs is someone to help them up...not push them down further..." Her eyes reflect sadness, as if re-living a bad memory but her smile stays the same innocent,quiet smile.

Evan smiles back_, Heh...this isn't THAT bad._


	6. The Naked Run

The villains agreed to somehow manage their ways to meet up at the same park at noon to discuss what they were going to do next. Of course, everyone was a little late due to Hannah's piano practice, Sarah's chores, Harry's basketball game and Paula was apparently a cheerleader at said game. Of course, they all sucked at all of these.

Harley groans, "This kid has no life!!! She's sooooooo boring!!!!"

"At least you don't share a room with the opposite gender." Johnathon said, annoyed.

"No way!" Jack said, now interested in something Johnathon said, "Is it the playboy mansion!?"

"Psh....I wish. I'm a foster kid." Johnathon rolls his eyes as Jack starts to laugh.

Pamela sighs "Ok....let's just agree that no matter what happens we're all in this together...Ok? The last thing I need is you freaks ditching me to go have fun being a kid again, Our one and only goal is to finding these freaks who call themselves normal teenagers and switching back our blasted bodies..."

Selina smirks and gulps down a whole glass of milk in less than 10 seconds. She wipes her mouth with the back of her sleeve and rolls her eyes "Don't worry...I don't want to spend another day as this chick...."

Jenny runs up to James as fast as she can and pants, "Th-there you are! Where the hell have you been?? You totally missed lunch! is totally pissed at you!"

"Psh....who's this loser?" Jack said chuckling

Johnathon groans and puts his hand to his head, annoyed. "Jenny.....go away..like now...Ok? I don't care what says....she can go give a squirrel a blowjob...I'm taking care of important stuff right now..."

Harley grins and immaturely says "JOHNATHON AND JENNY SITTING IN A TREE-" Harvey knocks her in the back of the head before she could finish.

Jenny raises an eyebrow "Who's Johnathon??"

Jack muffles Harley with his hand "Heh-no one....nothing...forget she said anything...."

Jenny shrugs, "Oh-ok....C-can I hang out with you guys?"

"Psh....no! You're not cool enough!" Jack says and grins.

Jenny turns to selina and smirks "And she is?" laughs "S-sorry....no offence."

"None taken-" Selina says angrily through her teeth._Bitch_

Harvey smirks and secretly mumbles to himself "catfight..."

"Sure!! You can hang out with us!!!" Harley says giggling, "But ya have to pass....THE DARE!!!"

Edward smirks and plays along, "Oh no!! Not THE dare!!"

Pamela laughs "Listen....all you gotta do is run all the way around Gotham..."

Harvey laughs along "....While stopping for nothing and no one...."

Johnathon smirks "...Naked..."

Jack laughs and high fives Johnathon "Yah...and you have to be gagged too...you can't forget that..."

Jenny, brave as always, raises an eyebrow "Wait...all of you guys have done this before?"

Selina laughs "Oh yeah! Totally! Yah shoulda seen Edw-I mean Evan do it! Right through a wedding too!"

Everyone starts laughing their asses off.

At first, Jenny seems skeptical about it, but then blocks out the little voice telling her not to do this, and smiles at James._ Relax! If you do it, James will totally fall for you!!!_ "Yah! Sure!! I'll do it!!"

Everyone stops laughing and looks shocked.

"Wait....seriously????" James asked in shocked

Jenny smiles, "Yah! Duh!!" quickly goes behind a bush and takes off all of her clothes. "Ready!!"

Pamela is red from laughing so hard and nods "Ok...very good...now quick! Run! Run like the wind!" _Holy shit im gonna piss my pants_

Jenny nods and starts running.

Harvey chuckles and after five minutes of good laughter he wipes away his tears and grins "Ok...so...all in favor of just staying like this for a while cause it seems to be more fun than being a villain say 'I'"

Everyone erupts in a chorus of "I" and spends the rest of their afternoon being something they haven't been in a while, just a group of teenage kids.


	7. The Batman!

Hannah stepped outside for some fresh air only to be yanked back in by Harry.

"What do you think you're doing!? You're one of Gothams #1 criminals who slept with her makeup on!Don't go outside unless it's dark!"

Hannah cowers a little,"S-sorry..." she bites her lip as Harry sighs.

"It's....fine. Sorry I yelled." Harry staeted as they both go back inside the hide-out.

Hannah sighs and goes into the bathroom washing off every bit of makeup she can leaving her with blue eyes and blonde hair put up in messy pigtails. She goes back out to where the others are gathered around the table, eating what little food they can find. "So...What do we do now?" Hannah asked quietly

"What is there to do?" Jake said hopelessly with his face buried in his arms,"It's hopeless!!!!" he sniffs"I want my mommy!!!"

Evan rolls his eyes and slaps him in the back of the head "Don't be such a baby! Suck it up you idiot!"

Paula smirks "Evan-you're not in any position to call anyone else an idiot..."

Evan rolls his eyes at his sister "Whatever.....I don't care anymore..."

James sighs "You guys need to stop fighting...really-"he still has tears in his eyes from crying himself to sleep,scared. "Really-it's not helping.."

Evan sighs "Well, James HAS an excuse for crying....you however,Jake, are going to have to deal..."

Jake looks up to how badly affected everyone looks by this incident and groans as he puts his head back in his arms "I just wanna go home..."

"Why don't we go home and tell our parents it's us!!! They'll believe us!!" Evan smiles at what seems to be ther perfect notion

"Wow...you really ARE stupid...aren't you?" Harry smirks

"I'm SORR-EE for trying to help! I don't see anyone else trying to come up with solutions!"

Paula bites her lower lip and sighs "OK....you guys...we can do this...we survived when we dumped mud on Jake's cousin....we'll survive now..."

Harry smirks "Ya-but Jake's cousin looks hot covered in mud..."

Pam hits him on the shoulder "Harry shut up!"

"Yes Ma'am..." he says,rubbing his arm and shuts his mouth.

Sarah sighs, "Wh-why don't we just take a nice walk. The sun's going down...it'll clear our minds out."

"Yah...a walk sounds nice." James sniffs.

Evan smiles lightly "Er-maybe we should try our best to look...normal-"

Hannah chuckles "Yah...normal would be good..."

An hour later they all come out of the hideout looking as normal as they can. Pam dressed up in an oversized coat and pants to hide her green skin along with a huge hat while Harry put on a sweatshirt that just barely fit his grown-up body so that he could put the hood up. Hannah let down her hair and made sure ALL of her makeup was off. As for Jake...he had to wear a scarf to make sure no one saw his scars.

"Great...this is just great-" Paula says as they step outside, her voice muffled, "-We look like a bunch of child molesters...and it's the summer too...I mean look at us! We're covered head to toe in clothing...."she frowns "I could be at my pool right now...in my bikini getting my tan line straight..."

Harry...well...this is him- 0.o. He grins.

Jake laughs at Harry's expression "Well Harry-I bet it's a good thing you have a sweatshirt on...."

xxBMxx

Jenny happens to be streaking around Gotham after the dare her "friends" gave her. She grins, and just to make it more interesting she screams, "HELP!!!! TOO MUCH COCAINE!!!! MY TEETH ITCH!!!!!!!" Jenny laughs as she runs throught the city.

The kids turn a corner and hear this. Curiousley, they look for whoever was shouting.

Just imagine what Jame's face looked like like when he saw that not only was there a girl,streaking throughout Gotham City...but that girl was his roomate, best friend, and crush "Je-Je-Jenny...?" He stumbles a bit, a little dazed.

Harry laughs "What, you KNOW that girl?" Everyone is obviousley amused as she runs a red light and cars swerve.

James can't help but stare at her....lost.

Harry laughs harder "I'll take that as a yes..."

Sarah is appauled "Who would DO something like that!?"

Hannah is disgusted and closes her eyes in shame "I have no...clue..."

Jenny laughs harder as she runs past a young couple making out, "Ha!!! I got more guts to take all my clothes off than you do!!!!" she runs faster making sure no one will catch her.

Police sirens go off and as the sun goes down even more, it gets harder and harder to track her down.

Jake pulls on Jame's arm "Come on James-that's enough staring...."He chuckles and looks up "OMG ITS BATMAN!!!!" Yes...he said 'omg' not 'oh my god' no...he said 'oh-em-gee'...thats how pathetic he is. He starts jumping up and down like a fan girl, drawing attention from a lot of gay guys.

Everyone else looks up and Jame's finally pulls his gaze away from Jenny to look up. His eyes go wide "Wow...."

"Take care of the devil child, Batman!!!"An old woman shouts out.

"Huh?" Jenny turns around and once she sees she runs even faster

Batman rolls his eyes. _Great..another adolescent....not even Batman can get a summer break... _He (obviousley) out runs Jenny and catches her before she can turn into an alley. "Not so fast...."

Jenny groans and thinks fast, "I'm a nudist!!! Blame the parents!!!"

"Yah-right....and screaming out you're a cocaine addict isn't helping your cause either miss-" He handcuffs her from behind and drapes his cape over her, tightening it. "Of course-you and I both know that you're not on cocaine..."sounds stern,"But along with streaking you did much damage to the city...we're gonna have to call your parents and take you downtown"

Jenny smirks "What parents?"

Batman makes no exceptions, no matter how much sympathy Bruce Wayne may have for kids...especially orphans...and he pushes her carefully to a cop who is panting.

"Finally! We caught up with you-You little twirp..."Takes her from the shoulder "Look kid-no one likes wearing clothes..but we have to...it's the law-" (Thank you Matt Groening!)

Jenny groans as she is pushed into a police car that soon drives away. It takes James all the strength not to go after her, trying to stop them. _I...I hope she's safe..._

Just as Batman was going to dissappear back into the shadows, his eyes wander around the place which stop at the group of villains (The kids) and he pauses._They look...familiar..._

Jake is still in a nerd-gasm of excitement "BATMAN! OMG I'M LIKE-YOUR BIGGEST FAN!"

Evan looks scared and hisses, "Dude! What are you doing!? You're not Jake! You're the Joker!"

Harry now looks scarder "EVAN! NOT SO LOUD!"

Too late.

Batman glares as he walks over there, he raises an eyebrow "I must say...I know you guys are stupid but I didn't think you guys would be so stupid as to think those little disguises of yours would actually work..."

Jake's grin decreases to a frown as he realizes that he's Batman's arch enemy. The seven of them are lost at what to say and just stare at each other, confused and scared.

Batman is taken aback _Somthing is definately not right here....._

"Wow!!! Jake is like.... your biggest fan!!!!"

"Ev-I-I mean....EDWARD!" Paula shouts out, pretending to be angry.

Sarah discreetly puts her hand on Evan's hand hoping he'll get the memo and just stay quiet.

This movement doesn't go un-noticed by Batman who stares curiousley at what he thinks to be Catwoman for a second before turning to the others. He takes a step back, testing to see if this is some kind of trap or something but they just stand there, staring back at him.

Batman shakes his head "I don't know what you freaks are up to....but I'll find out..." And he goes into the shadows...just as confused as everybody else.

"Heh-"Hannah says nervously, "That went well"


	8. We Don't Care

Jenny waits in her room after the Matron paid her bail and took her back to the orphanage. She glares at what appears to be James when he enters the room.

Johnathon immediately starts laughing at her and plops down on his bed "Holy shit! I can't believe you actually DID that!"

Jenny fumes inside her mind, angry and pissed off and hits him. "You're a jerk! You know that!? You may be fearless all of a sudden, but be scared of me! I KNOW where you live..."

Johnathon smirks "Whatever...you done yelling at me? Because I have to meet up with my friends again tomorrow-and this time I'm definately not telling you where."

Jenny fumes, "You don't get it, do you!!!!" She sniffs and frowns, "Now, I'll never get adopted." She burries her face in her pillowing, crying.

Johnathon really doesn't care as much as a person with humanity would and just sighs. "Eh-you'll get over it..."

Jenny sniffs "I-I thought you were cool....and brave....but now I see you're just big asswhole...no one's gonna adopt you either you freakin retard!"

Johnathon just rolls his eyes "Look kid-I really think that your overreacting about this....ok? Psh-no one was going to adopt you anyways..."

Without thinking, Jenny stomps over to hime and starts to punch him non-stop.

Having a lot of past experiences, he rolls out from underneath and jumps up. "DUDE! WTF!?" He wipes some blood from his lip and rubs it on his pants.

Jenny starts to cry "I-I-" she can't finish the statement and just crys into her pillow.

Johnathon sighs heavily and to shut her up rubs her back "Just stop crying, OK? It'll be better...look at it this way...I know one thing, and that's the prospect of a "family" is bogus. You're better off without one...trust me, you're gonna realize that change is bad and that if you just close yourself off from the world-you stay on top of it"

"Well..."Jenny sniffs, "That-that wasn't very encouraging at all. And how would YOU know? You've wanted a family ever since you got here."

"I have?" Johnathon realizes who he actually is "Right...well, I've changed..."

"Didn't you JUST say change is bad?" Jenny smirks.

"Look kid-do you want my help or not? Jesus-" Johnathon plops down back on his own bed and just rolls his eyes "Go to sleep-no one wants to hear you cry all night..."

Even though she knows James has become a total ass, she can't help be attracted to his new assyness. She smiles and plops down beside him. Jenny cuddles up next to him and smiles, "O-ok."

Eyes wide and scared he jumps up, pushing her off the bed, and is now officiallly scared for once "WTF!? Get out of my bed! You freak!"

Jenny sits up and puts a strand of hair behind her ear "Why? Don't you WANT to be with me?"

"Um-NO!"

Insulted, she scoffs "And why not?"

Johnathon has MANY reasons why not. Of course, half of them he couldn't even say so he goes with, what in his mind, is the obvious one. "You're 14!"

"So?" Jenny thinks he's gone mad, "So are you....."

"Oh-heh...right...heh....well....um..." Johnathon is speechless at this point.

Jenny smiles, "I'll take that as a yes!" She wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him deeply.

Johnathon pushes her off and wipes his lips "Dude! Over-ly confident much!?"

Jenny smiles charmingly "Very-"

XXBMXX

Pam and Edward sit as far away as possible from each other as they quietly eat dinner, listening to their mom drone on about stuff that at this point they don't really care about. "Mom? H-How did dad die?" Edward asked to make sure it their father WAS the man he killed.

Pam looks curiousley to Edward, wondering why he's even bothering.

Caroline looks up in mid-sentence of saying somthing else and frowns "Evan dear..let's not talk about this right now"

"I-I was just wondering...."Edward frowns and looks back down at his food.

Pam is still looking at Edward wondering what the heck is going through his mind but doesn't say anything, instead choosing to look down at her food.

Caroline furroes her brow and sighs,"I-I never told you kids what happened exactly but....there were these....freaks-"

_flshback!_

_The Joker is laughing and sticking his head out of the window of the stolen car and is waving the sack of money out the window. "YO RIDDLER! GET IN HERE MAN! WE'VE DONE OUR JOB!"_

_With a grin on his face the Riddler laughs evily as he pushes his way out of the crowd, shoving kids and adults with fear in their eyes left and right as if they were nothing more than balls in a ball pit._

"It...it was the day you guys got lost.,...your father and I were screaming out your names but you couldn't hear us-"

"PAULA!!! EVAN!!! WHERE ARE YOU!" Carolines voice drains into the background noise of the other citizens just screaming and scared for dear life.

_Their father,also looking for them seperated from his wife is pushed back by the Riddler who shoots his gun up in the air._

_He can't get up and he groans as the Riddler and others step on his in a fury of getting out. He coughs out blood and he grabs the Riddler's leg more in a way to get up, not knowing who he was grabbing onto._

"I could only watch from the sides, I-I wasn't quick enough....I-I was being pushed back by the crowd going the other way...he was screaming for help but no one would...and...and the Riddler-he just..."

_"Come on Riddles!!!!" The Joker shouted out. The Riddler kicked their father off and shot the gun down at him. He jumped in the car, laughing along with the Joker._

_"NOO!" Caroline is shouting, with tears streaming past her eyes._

"He was just...there...no one stopped to help him...or even cared. He was just there...on the ground bleeding....and when I could get to him I-I was too late..."

_"Shhh...honey it's Ok...it's-" Their father closes his eyes and takes his last breathe._

_"MOOOM! WHERE ARE YOU!?" Younger Evan and Paula are around the corner, calling out.._

_After embracing their father, one last time Caroline runs to where they are and before they could see their dad lying there embraces them tightly, in tears._

Caroline sniffs and has to dry out her eyes with her napkin. "E-excuse me..." And with teary eyes she leaves the room.

Edward frowns as he remembers the moment. "O-oh my God....I-I wasn't even thinking when that happened."

"Wow...that's a first" Pamela rolls her eyes, "What ever...everyone's done something in there life that their not proud of. Except for me....I'm totally proud of what I do." she smirks

xxBMxx

Jack sighs as he has to sit through his "mom" and a priest droning on and on about his sexualality.

He runs his fingers through his hair and groans "Ok-look toots...I'm REALLY tired...can I like, give you an IOU or something and save this till tomorrow?"

His mother is shocked, "Jake! Don't talk to me and Father Adams like that! What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with ME? What's wrong with YOU!? Geez-I'm gay..except tht!"

The priest is just so shocked he leaves the room with his hand over his heart.

In a fit of disbelief and fury his mom just leaves soon after, her kind motherly-ways off balance as she, for once in her life, is mad at her son.

Jack rolls his eyes, "And they say I'M a freak?"

xxBMxx

Sarah's father pushes through the door and he smiles lightly "Sarah dear-I have a present for you..."

Selina was curled up like a cat on her bed, thinking about Bruce, and she sits up. "Y-yes?"

"I-it isn't much....you know how tight money is...but I was just thinking how proud I am of you and everything you do..." Her father sits down on the edge of her bed and removes a strand of hair away from her face.

Selina is a bit uncomfortable and taken aback by this sudden show of kindness shown to her by someone who barely knows her. "Thank you...I guess..." She bites her lower lip and takes off her glasses.

He takes a gold necklace and puts it around her neck. "It-it's actually your mother's gold chain from the necklace I bought her on our honeymoon...the charm fell off a while ago though so I bought you this-" He holds up the new charm around it which is just a simple, 'S' in the middle of a poorly crafted heart.

Even though she's only been there for awhile and she barley knows this man, Selina's heart sort of melts and acts along, "I-It's beautiful. Thank you so much."

Sarah's father smiles and kisses her forehead,"I want you to know that no matter what your mom used to say to you, that she was wrong....and I was wrong to ever say I loved her and the only thing that I don't regret from our relationship..is that she gave me you...."

"E-Excuse me.....Dad..." Selina can't take it anymore and stands up, she walks over to the bathroom and locks herself in. She can't take this anymore, she does what she's always done and pulled away right when someone gets close to what she has left of her heart. Even for Bruce.

xxBMxx

"HANNAH!" Harley turns around to face her "father" yelling at her.

Harley grins and bounces up to her military father. "Yes daddy!?"

"Daddy? Did my 14 year old daughter just call me DADDY?!"

Harley seems to shrink back a bit and gulps "Er-yah?"

"No more 5 year old business! Do your chores! Now!"

Scared, she murmurs a 'Yes sir' and walks away as fast as she can. _Damn...this chicks got it hard....no wonder she's so uptight..._

xxBMxx

Harvey probably got it off the easiest. Besides the fact Harry's parents were total control freak perfectionists, they usually just left him alone in his room. Not the funnest thing ever but better than anything else he's ever had. Easier too.

"Harry! You said you would help me with my homeowrk!" Harvey's new little sibling knocked on his door. He sounded excited to be with his older brother.

Harvey looks perplexed and confused._I thought I was an only child......_

Ignoring the little kid on the other side of the door, he shuffles through his drawers until he finds the slip of paper he found that first day in Harry's pocket stating he was an only child. He groans as he looks at it more carefully realizing its a screenplay for a school play.

"HARRY! Open up!" His little brother says louder and he knocks on the door again.

Harvey groans and opens the door slightly,"What do you need help with?"

His little brother, Tristan, smiles widely and hugs him. "Nothing-I just wanted to be with you...."

_No....fucking way_ "Er-can you let go of my leg,please? I don't wanna be with you right now."

"but-but..."Tristan frowns and rubs his eyes. "I'm lonely..."

"Wow...that's so interesting that I don't even care." Harvey rolls his eyes,"Why don't you go write a novel about how lonley you are send it to me when you're done...ok?"He closes the door thinking that was the last of him...he was wrong.

A loud banging is heard again and Harvey groans and opens it up "What could you possibly want now!?"

And there by the door was a tearing up toddler whos sniffs and rubs his nose "I-thought you wuved me..."

"Urgh...why can't you leave me alone?" Harvey doesn't look in his eyes.

"I'll leave you forever and ever if you don't want me...."Tristan sniffs again and his voice sounds cracked.

"I don't care...I really don't...." And Harvey just slams the door on his face.


	9. Caring Too Much

"Hey…you doing Ok?" Back home from their encounter with Batman and no one seems to be taking it lightly. Hannah sits down next to Jake, lost for what she should say.

"No-"Was his simple response. No one likes being told that their hero hates them. His head was hung and for once Jake takes the form of the Joker…alone, dark, and sad eyes forever cursed with a smile.

Hannah, scared, sits down quite a way from him but is still able to rub his back softly. She says nothing as she just sits there, knowing Jake just needs some alone time.

After a while Jake looks up a moves a bit closer to Hannah. He does the ever-so-macho thing and puts his head down on Hannah's shoulder, his eyes clouded by her blonde hair.

Hannah smiles lightly and puts her head down on his "That's what friends are for…"

xxBmxx

James walks down the street trying to cover up his face with hands. He whispers to himself as he tries to calm down, "This is crazy! What the hell is going on??? It's not normal! These kind of things don't really happen every day!" He groans "What would Jenny do?" James smiles lightly as he thinks of his room mate.

Usually, he'd be too scared to go out alone but he couldn't take it anymore. After much thought and consideration he realized _You know what!? Jake is right...alone time helps. _Self-consciously, he ended up walking to his foster home as though some invisible force was pulling him there. He looks up finally, realizing it's too dark for anyone to see his face clearly and he looks towards his old window where he sees Johnathon literally trying to fight his way out of Jenny's grasp.

James is confused and stunned. _THAT'S ME! That's MY body!_ He suddenly feels scared all over again and is about to run away at full speed but something stops him. He stands there, looking like a pedophile almost as he watches Johnathon and Jenny fight until Johnathon storms out and Jenny is left alone. With trembling hands he shuts his eyes tightly, biting his lower lip, and he picks up a rock chucking it at the window. Then…he ducks, hiding behind the fence.

Jenny looks out the window. She sees nothing. Confused, she goes outside, "H-Hello? James?" Of course, she does this not sounding scared at all.

"Pssst! JENNY!" He still crouches behind the fence, his voice shaking.

Jenny goes towards where she hears the voice and is about to scream when she sees what appears to be Johnathon Crane, but James jumps up and covers her mouth, bringing her down to their level. "I know you might be very scared right now but trust me I am too!"

Jenny fights and screams her muffled scream and is flailing about but James holds on tightly, not wanting to get caught. She gathers up all of her strength and bites down into his hand.

James gasps and pulls away "OW! What was that for!?" he whispered loudly.

Jenny is gasping for breath and screams out "Stranger danger! Stranger danger!"

James rolls his eyes and covers her mouth again, looking straight into her eyes. "Jenny! I don't tell you this often but shut up!"

"HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME!?" Her muffled voice carries out no further than Jame's ears.

"It's James! I'm just in a 17 year old body! Um-wait-that doesn't make sense….." Doesn't know how to put this.

"YOU'RE NOT JAMES! LET ME GO! RIGHT NOW!"

He looks to see his hand bleeding already where she bit him the first time and wanting her to calm down so she doesn't do it again he says the first thing that comes to his mind so she'll believe him. "When you were seven years old and you're parents were still living you used 2 pretend you hated them for 3 months so that they would give you more attention!"

She shuts up. Her breaths are long and deep. Not believing it's James, she screams loudly, "BATMAN!!! HELP!!! STALKER!!!!!!!!"

He groans and his patience wears thin. His voice hisses as he says "Jenny! Listen to me! It's James! Have you noticed anything unusual about the James you've been sleeping next to for the past few days!? Yah-I'm in his body and he's in mine! I don't know why this is it just IS! Don't be scared! That's supposed to be MY job! You're the brave one!"

Right now, Jenny was too scared to believe in anything, "Please…..just let me go. Please" she's about to cry.

James sighs and does as he's told.

Jenny runs into her room and cries herself to sleep, scared.

James walks back to the hideout, all the while keeping hidden in the shadows, where he feels he belongs, hidden from everything where nothing can hurt him.

xxBMxx

Paula has tied her long, red hair back and braided it nicely. She sits down next to Harry and it's silent between the two of them.

"I…I miss my brother-"Paula looks up as Harry mentions Tristan and she puts her hand on his lap "I-I'm sorry…"

Harry looks up at Paula and bites his lower lip. "Do-do you thin that we'll get back to our own bodies?"

Paula shakes her head "I don't know, Harry-"

"Well that's comforting…" He rolls his eyes.

"Hey, I'm just saying what I think. Right now, it's pretty unlikely we're ever gonna see our families again." Paula sighs.

"Yah….cause you always make me feel worse." Harry scoots away from her.

"Hey! What's THAT supposed to mean!?"

"I don't know Paula! Just that you're the fucking rain on everyone's parade! Sure, you may be pretty and smart and popular and whatever but you're a pessimist! You always have been!"

Paula stands up and in an uncontrollable rage slaps him, hard. "Don't EVER talk to me like that you-you bastard!"

James is still out as this occurs, and Jake and Hannah fell asleep, content. However Evan and Sarah are forced to listen as they fight.

"So what!? GIRLS can talk to guys however they want but we're not allowed to say how WE feel!?"

"NO! Because when ever guys say how they feel, they're always bastards about it!!!"

"Well, girls are always bitches about it!!!"

"You're always so competitive!!! You can never admit that you're wrong sometimes!"

"Oh what!? And YOU can!?"

"Why do I even date you!?"

"I don't know! But I do know I'm done dating YOU!" And Paula storms out of the hideout.

xxBMxx

Sarah and Evan look to each other, scared almost, and it's quiet. After Harry leaves to his room Evan turns quietly to Sarah and whispers "So…I take it this means that they aren't dating anymore?"

She nods, and smiles lightly at Evan's stupidness, thinking it's cute. " are…"

"oh…" He bites his lower lip. "I should go talk to my sister-" He gets up but Sarah stops him.

"You should let them calm down for awhile….they look really upset"

"Oh-" Evan frowns, "I like it better when they're downset…" he smiles when he sees Sarah giggle, but he doesn't know why. "You're…really pretty-" He randomnly says out of nowhere.

Sarah looks up and bites her lower lip. Timidly, she says, "Yah…that's cause this isn't my body…I'm not really that pretty really."

Evan tilts his head "Yes you are…you just don't see it. Probably because of those HUGE glasses you wear…"

She giggles again. And he may never know this but he just said one of the nicest things that she has ever heard from someone other than her dad. She smiles softly and stands up. Bravely gives him a kiss on the cheek and walks to bed.

Evan blushes and gasps, "OW! Your lips are hot!"

Sarah giggles one last time before shutting her door.


	10. What Have We Done?

Harvey stayed in his bedroom, locked up as always in the protection and shelter of four walls. He lays back in the bed and thinks that he has it the best out of the rest of the villains. And right when he feels as though he's in total and complete bliss he hears a banging at the door and his peace shatters into a million pieces.

"HARRY! HARRY ITS ME! TRISTAN!" The voice on the other side of the door calls.

Harvey groans,"What do you want??????????????"

"I just want to play with my favoritest big brother in the world."Tristan smiles

Harvey goes to the door and his eyes seem to narrow. "Tristan….how many times do I have to tell you this? '...You!"

Tristan cowers a bit "B-b-but wh-why? You always play with me…" He frowns.

"I've changed Tristan."

"I don't like..change…"

"Get over it"

Tristan sniffs, "B-But your change….doesn't love me anymore??" his eyes get watery

"Bingo kid"

Tristan goes out to hug Harvey and Harvey just pushes him away. "DON'.ME"

Tristan's misty eyes water up even more and starts crying as he runs into his room.

The door closes and Harvey just rolls his eyes. _What a needy kid-_

xBMx

Harley is dancing across the hallway and bumps into her dad. "Hiya Daddy!!!" smiles widely and hugs him tightly

"…"He shoves Harley off his leg and looks stern and cold. "Have you done your chores?"

"My…c-chores?"

"Yes,Hannah, your chores" He sighs an exhasperated sigh. "You have to do the laundry,mow the lawn, feed the bird, wash the dishes, take out the trash, clean your room, clean the bathroom, and polish the windows…"

"…"

".!" His old military ways kick in as he expects total and complete respect from his only child. "OR ELSE I'LL DROP AND MAKE YOU DO TWENTY!"

Harley gulps and does what she does best, "No!"

"DROP AND DO TWENTY NOW! YOU LISTEN TO YOUR FATHER! I HAVE AUTHORITY OVER YOU!"

Harley starts to throw a fit that suits a temper tantrum of a 6 year old "NO!NO!NO!NO!NOOOOO!"

Her "father" grabs her shirt and shoves her into her room. He slams the door

"NO! NO! NO!!" Harley is still throwing the fit and when she realizes her door is locked in she screams and cries until the tears just can't come out anymore and she lies down on her bed and cries herself to sleep.

xBMx

Confined to his room, Jack was happier than ever grounded. Hearing his "mom" cry almost 24/7 was just a bonus.

_No more Harley…no stress…no Batman…no Harley…no retarded Jervis…no Batman….no Arkham Asylum…no Harley…..no Harley….Yah….no Harley. _He smirks to himself. _This. Is. The. Life._

The walls that are lined with Batman have been drawn on, mutilized, cut up, and pretty much destroyed. It's like his own little piece of heaven.

"Ah yes…no more anarchy…" He closes his eyes and then with a quick jolt sits up. "Wait...no anarchy!? No…no…no…no the Joker must have anarchy! It's the only thing keeping me sane!" He paces about the room and knocks things off of shelves from fury. _What am I supposed to do!? I need fresh air!!!_

He tries to open the door but his hands are so sweaty the knob won't turn. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!" he runs into the closet and tears up random comic books. He laughs evily as the bits of paper falls to his sides and Jake's entire MegaMan collection ends up in ruins by a half an hour.

He lays back in the mess that used to be Jake's room and he sighs in relief. "Ah…that's better" He puts his arms behind his head and he closes his eyes. _It wasn't total craziness….but just the thought that someone that's not me has to clean up this mess makes me feel just a tad bit better…._

xBMx

Summer school for Edward so far has been horrible. Everyday is the same almost.

He goes to school.

Answers a question correctly.

And jaws are gaping open.

_How stupid IS this kid anyways!?_

_-flashback-_

"_Ok kids…now who can summarize the theory of evolution?"_

_Edward is the only kid who raises his hand._

_The teacher sighs "Evan? If you have to go to the bathroom just go…"_

_Edward looks confused "I was going to answer the question…"_

_Silence…_

"_Um…..No….The theory of evolution doesn't have to do with meatballs"_

_The class breaks out into a chorus of giggles, not believing that Evan could answer the question correctly._

"_I wasn't saying it did ….I was going to say that __Darwin's Theory of Evolution is the widely held notion that all life is related and has descended from a common ancestor: the birds and the bananas, the fishes and the flowers -- all related. Darwin's general theory presumes the development of life from non-life and stresses a purely naturalistic (undirected) "descent with modification". That is, complex creatures evolve from more simplistic ancestors naturally over time. In a nutshell, as random genetic mutations occur within an organism's genetic code, the beneficial mutations are preserved because they aid survival -- a process known as "natural selection." These beneficial mutations are passed on to the next generation. Over time, beneficial mutations accumulate and the result is an entirely different organism (not just a variation of the original, but an entirely different creature). __**(THESE ARE NOT MY WORDS **__**)**_

_The whole class is silent and the teacher looks as though she's going to cry "Oh EVAN!" She hugs him tightly 'You LEARNED something!"_

_Around the room kids murmur,_

"_Wow…he sounded smart…."_

"_-I didn't know Evan had super powers now…"_

"_how did he DO that?"_

"_I think he cheated.."_

'_Maybe he's getting help"_

_Ect…ect…ect _

_-end of flashback-_

Edward sighs as he gets home and throws his backpack to the side. He wants to be alone and away from people and needs to think. He makes his way to a room he has yet to explore which is a giant study. Already he can tell no one goes in this room much and as he looks closer he can see why.

Inside the study seemed to be a type of memorial for Evan and Paula's father. His desk was polished and the jacket strewn over the chair if you looked closely was the jacket he was wearing the day he died.

He bites his lower lip and makes his way to the desk, running his hand over the dust collector of a table and studies the picture of the family that's placed right in the center next to a stack of dictionaries. Their smiling faces seemed to be mocking him.

Edward leaves the side of the desk and can still hear the father crying for help that night, ringing through his ears and he tries pushing it as far back in his mind as he can manage. He makes his way to the library which was a small collection of leather bound books as though part of a set from a scary movie. He pulls one out and flips through the pages before pushing it back in into its space, fitting perfectly.

His guilt-filled body keeps him magnetized to this room and for what seems like hours he just looks around to the point where it's as though he knew this man, just by looking at his study.

"EVAN!? EVAN I SEE YOUR BACKPACK IN THE HALLWAY! HONEY ARE YOU HOME!?" The woman of the house can be heard coming closer and closer to the room and he's frozen in his spot, unsure of what to do.

The doorknob jiggles and Caroline comes in "Evan…?" she looks around till her eyes fall on him. "Evan…honey what are you doing in here?"

Edward is lost for words and he just looks down to the ground, not wanting to meet her eyes.

She walks over, thinking he's sad and missing his father, and hugs him. She bends down a bit and lift his chin up. Her eyes mist too and she kisses his forehead "I miss him too, Edward…I miss him so much…"

Edward looks into her eyes finally and feels genuinely sorry. _What have I done??_

XBMX

Johnathon enters the room and hasn't spoken to jenny since the night before. Jenny hasn't told him of the encounter she had with the actual James and that's partially because she's still too stunned to say anything to him.

And personally…Johnathon liked that much better.

(I know it was short. More to come in next chapter for the Johathon, Jenny, James thing)

xBMx

Selina sat down on her bed and can hear the _SQUEAK _of the old rusty metal underneath and her matted mattress. Memories of her own childhood seeped into her brain as she thinks about how terrible this 'Sarah' person must have it.

She runs her hands over the sheets and sighs as she lays back, wondering how she went from a girl like this once, to how she truly is today. Her oily hair masks her face and she moves it out of her eyes.

She hugs herself around the stomach and misses Batman and Bruce both so much. She misses having their arms around her…a warm body next to her own…..

She picks up the necklace Sarah's father gave her and turns it around in her fingers. It truly wasn't worth much but it was in meaning that was rich.

She closes her eyes and for once pretends to be that little girl again as she drifts off into a sleep.


	11. A Bit Scared

Hannah feels helpless and doesn't know what to do.

_ Paula and Harry are fighting…Jake's whole life has been crushed…I'm not quite sure on what to do…Oh Hannah you never know what to do. But you know one thing's for certain, you're not afraid of clowns anymore._

She looks outside in the window. She's wearing shorts and a tank top with her hair tied up. The sunlight shines through on her face and she smiles lightly, shielding her eyes and sighs.

"Well, you sure look nice….I mean, for an evil villain's bitch." Jake comes up behind Hannah and smiles. He runs his hands through his hair.

Hannah blushes and looks away, "You feeling better?"

"Yeah…I'm still sore but I'll get over it."

She smiles and hands him an orange. "Take this. You haven't been eating-"

He takes the orange but just turns it around in his hand. "Hannah? I have a question…" He trails off and looks out the window too, except for some reason, he couldn't see the sun.

"Ask away then."

"If we're forced to stay like this…forever, Do you think that…well…what's going to happen? I mean when the world sees me they won't see me as ME. They'll just see me as this…this monster! I can't redeem myself for Joker's deeds-"

"Well, Jake, you have to realize that-"

"-Wait! I'm not finished. Maybe…maybe this is how the Joker AND Batman feel. This is why Batman has a secret identity. So that he can go out into this world as something more than a figure of the night! So-so he doesn't have to spend his life wondering if he can change things. People can accept him as him…but not as Batman. And in a way, I feel bad for the Joker…whoever he may be under this-this face"

Hannah is lost for words and regains herself as she shifts her weight. "Jake-?" she finally says softly.

"Y-yeah?"

"Were you thinking about that all night?"

He nods and looks down. "I'm so scared…"

She puts her arm around him and kisses the top of his head. "So am I-"

xxBmxx

James is sitting in the corner, banging his head against the wall, "What the hell were you thinking!? She must have thought you some crazy lunatic!! You don't grab a 15 year old girl and pull her into the bushes!!" he's having a nervous break-down and doesn't know what to do.

"James. Calm down will you? You're not the only one with issues here dude." Harry comes out of the bathroom and sighs "I can hear you while I'm trying to concentrate on my to do list…"

"Harry? No offense or anything but….WHAT IS THERE TO DO!?"James' hands shake and Harry puts his hand over to steady them.

"Calm down, Ok? Please. I'm struggling just as much as you but we need self control here."

James sighs "You're right. You just broke up with Paula. I shouldn't act this way-"

"I understand if you're scared James. I mean after all, it's you. You're scared of even flies on a cereal box. But…look at you. You're a 6 foot tall lanky guy that can pass for the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz." He breaks a slight smile. "Cheer up and know for the gazillionth time that no one can hurt you, inside or outside, because you're friends with the coolest person ever…..me"

James smiles lightly then frowns, "What about Jenny? I'm roommates with the hottest girl in the orphanage, and this guy is being such a jerk to her." He sighs, "At least he can actually talk to her. I mean….if Jenny was my girl friend I would treat her like a queen….not that I would want to date Jenny." He blushes.

"Hey. I may be the coolest person ever but uh dude? I'm no master at relationships. Obviously if I can't maintain a relationship with the hottest girl in school there's no way I'm good at this stuff. My advice though? Be yourself. You'd be surprised where that can get you. Now if you'll excuse me I have…you know…nothing to do-"He chuckles softly trying to hide the sadness in his voice and walks away to his room to think.

Paula leans on the doorway behind the closet and was listening the entire time. She bites her bottom lip and smiles softly. Putting her hand on a locket Harry once gave her, she knew what she had to do.

xxBmxx

"Evan? Are you Ok? You look hurt-" Sarah sits next to him and puts a tuff of hair behind her ear.

"I'm…trying to…think!" He looks almost constipated as he sits on the couch with the Riddler's hat over his head.

Sarah chuckles lightly, "But, you're so sweet when you don't think."

Evan blushes, 'R-really?"

"Yah. You're a really nice guy Evan."Sarah smiles softly

_Wow….A girls never said that to me….EVER! All I've ever been called by another girl was, 'Ew! Please get away from me!' Sarah's really nice too, and pretty…..really pretty, and smart, and……hey! I'm thinking!!!_

"Evan..? Yoo hoo? Evan? You OK?"

"Huh? Oh-I was actually thinking!"

Sarah smiles and sits a bit closer to him."Evan? You're a really great friend…a-and-"she blushes

"Are you OK? You're turning red…"Frowns

Sarah giggles. "I'm fine really I-I just wanted to say thanks. You gave me a lot of confidence…"

"Is that a good thing?"

"It's a great thing Evan…."


	12. Gotham City Festival

"Harry!? Harry!? Honey have you been checking your lists? Are you ready!?" Harry's mom knocks on the door with great ferocity.

"Lists….what lists!?" Harvey gets up from his peace and rubs his eyes. He checks the most current stack of lists he just threw in the waste basket when he found them taped to his door.

_Don't forget Harry…_

_The Gotham City Summer Festival is tonight. Dress your best and be ready by 6:30 out in the hallways so your father and I can make sure you're clean. Thank you!_

_-Your Mom_

"Harry? Baby are you ready? It's 6:45!" The knocking continues.

T kid in it to put it in kindest terms.

He comes out about five minutes later to a very aggravated father and a very concerned mother. "Hey…." And in the words of one of the two 14 year old authors, he looked pretty hot.

"It's about time Harry. We're going to be late. And did you do something with your hair?" His father sighs in relief when he sees his son finally coming downstairs.

"Nope. It's called I didn't gel it back like he-I mean I usually do…."

His mother smiles, "You look very handsome, Harry."

Harvey smiles slightly not hearing those words for a while, "Thank you." He follows his family to the carnival. "So what? Is this like some cheap festival or something?"

"What are you talking about Harry? We go here every year and this is where you met some of your best friends. Don't you remember? Gee-you sure have been acting odd lately."

"Oh..right. Forgot-" Harvey sighs and doesn't want to be there at that moment. He turns a coin around in his fingers and then puts his forehead pressed against the glass of the car.

The lights and the happy families passing by, even for a second, bring him to remember happier times and he dozes off. His mind, for once, in one place at one time.

No one notices Tristan's unusual silence.

xBMx

"Hannah, before we go to the festival, your father wanted me to inform you that-" Hannah's mom sniffs and wipes her eyes. "Your father is going to send you to military school in the morning."

"In the morning!?" _What am I supposed to do now!? I can't go to military school! I won't see Mr.J!_

Harley goes on her hands and knees in order to beg for mercy. "Please!!!!! DON'T SEND ME TO THE ASYLUM!"

"Asylum…?"

"Sorry….I'm used to that one. I meant…..PLEASE DON'T SEND ME TO THE TERRBILE CAMP!"

Hannah's mom starts to tear up. "I'm sorry honey. I don't want you to go either, but your father already paid for the room and board."

"NO!!! I'M NOT GOING AND YOUR HUSBAND CAN GO SCREW HIMSELF!!!" She stomps off to the festival.

Her mother is shocked and kind of agrees with her.

xBMx

Jenny is following Johnathon to the carnival.

Johnathon sighs and can only pretend she's children screaming for so long. "OK! SHUT UP!"

Jenny, who was currently begging for him to go out with her, shuts up as told.

"What can I say to get you to not be following me right now?"

"That you love me and want me to bear your children about 10 years from now."

"Besides that"

"Um…."

"OK….listen, you're great and everything…but you remind me of this guy I know."

"And if you were gay you'd go for him…right!?"

"Oh GAWD no. NO…no…no…oh Hells no…"

"Oh…" Jenny's face falls and she sighs.

"Let's just say….No one likes this guy. At all. He's my best friend and he wears a big hat but I don't even like him sometimes. Get what I'm saying..?"

"That you secretly really love him!? Like a bro-mance!?"

"….."Johnathon sighs. "No. You're annoying"

"We could compromise." Jenny smiles while she looks into his eyes

Johnathon sighs, "What?"

"If you give me one kiss….no tongue….I'll leave alone and stop annoying you."

"NO!!!"

"PLEASE!?"

"No…." He sighs and walks away. "You wish!"

Jenny doesn't follow and turns back around heading to the foster home, defeated and in tears.

xBMx

Jack walks around the festival with his fists jammed in his pockets. He has just ditched his mom and has been going around causing trouble wherever he goes. First, he stole candy from kids. Then, he cut the balloons from their strings when no one was looking, They were little things but things that made him smile nevertheless.

xBMx

"Kids…" Caroline comes in the living room with a tissue up to her eyes. She sniffs loudly and even decked out in fancy attire for the night's festivities, the scene of her crying was quite depressing.

"What happened?" Edward could tell right away something bad has happened.

Pamela, who doesn't really care…at all just kind of sighs and looks up.

"We-I mean I have lost the company. For some reason our hired banker didn't pay the stocks and our funding went low and someone took the company right out from under us."

Edward feels bad and even though this doesn't actually affect him personally he can't help but feel guilty enough.

Pamela sends Edward a text message that says 'LOL-I forgot, Jack blew up the bank'

Edward scowls but doesn't let Caroline see that. He hugs her sympathetically.

Caroline sniffs and hugs her son

"I'm sorry mom. Things'll look up. I promise."

xBMx

Selina groans. "Do I really have to go??"

Sarah's father chuckles softly. "Yes. Why wouldn't you? You love this festival. Don't you? Or have you outgrown that aswell?" He swings her around and tickles her despite her age.

Selina laughs "Alright! Alright!"

"Hey, your birthday is coming up and since the festival is tonight I figured I'd give it to you now." Hands her a box which contains a very old dress.

Selina opens it and sighs, "Dad…no offence, but…..what is it with you and giving me mom's old stuff. She ruined my life, why would I want any of this?"

"This dress is actually something that your aunt sent over from Italy. I wanted to give it to you now."

She takes it out of the box and looks at it. She forgot how good it feels to not have to steal clothes constantly. She runs her hands over the materials. "You've been giving me..a lot of things lately Dad."

"I just feel so useless with your mom gone and me having to raise you as a single father. You're always so quiet and lonely."

"This is because I'm ugly, isn't it?! You don't have to feel sorry for me! I don't care! I have great friends! Friends that can kick your ass any day of the week! I don't need your sympathy!"

Her old self comes rushing back. Her poverty, her self helplessness, the fact she felt so terrible all around because everyone treated her differently. She yelled at this man who doesn't know what he did wrong as if she were actually 12 years old again yelling at her mother.

Sarah's father looks down and without saying anything, thinking he failed somehow, just closes the door leaving her behind.

"Wait! I meant-" Selina tried to fix her mistake but it was too late.

"Why? Why must I run out every man in my life?" She sighs and dresses up for the festival.


	13. What Just Happened?

AUTHORS NOTE: SORRY FOR LATENESS. BUSY SUMMER

"Why are we even here? Going through puberty was enough why did matters have to get worse? Now I'm at a fair and I'm as green as my dad's old SUV. This sucks!" Paula groans and her optimism went down the drain during the last couple of hours.

"Yeah…my sister's right. This blows I think I might just go back and…. feel….um-"

"Self pity Evan, that's what you're thinking of" Jake absentmindedly finishes Evan's sentence and sighs.

"Oh, cheer up you guys! Please? Being the downer is MY job. I hate seeing everyone so down…Evan? Paula? Sarah? Harry? James? Jake….?" For once, Hannah actually sounds like Harley Quinn. "We're at a fair! Remember all the good times we have at this fair each year!" She smiles wide, hoping they'll come out of their sense of loss.

Everyone's silent until finally Harry speaks up. "My family and I go to this fair every year…" his voice drifts off and then he lifts his head up. "You guys! That's it! Our family's are probably here! Instead of trying to convince them that we're their children we need to find our bodies!"

"Guys?" James starts, "We're hiding behind bushes. We can't go out there! People will see who we are, and batman is probably here too. We're bound to be found and I doubt the police will believe our story."

Hannah thinks and smiles "Don't you see! We WANT their attention! If we make ourselves noticeable, our bodies are bound to find us!"

"What do you mean by…..attention?" Jake says skeptically

"I think she means….something that the rogues would do….?" Sarah answers

.

This would be the moment in movies where they animate a little light bulb sparking above someone's forehead before it explodes.

"YOU GUYS! I have an idea!" Evan stands up and is smiling from ear to ear.

"…No, seriously Evan…what?" Harry can't help it, this is the same kid who thought that 'pi' was something you bought at a grocery store.

"No! Seriously! I mean it. I have an idea. Remember that time last year we made fake weapons to pretend to be cops and robbers?"

"You mean…when we were 6?"

"…whatever! Either way, if we look menacing enough, we can cause an uproar. And this time Batman will be on our side if we just….um…..scratch that. Find our bodies, THEN talk to Batman. Our parents will just kill us…literally, they'll think we're kidnapping ourselves."

"I don't know." James started, "Jenny gave me a fake weapon once….it didn't end well."

"James," Harry smiled "Jenny's probably here, she's totally a fan of the rogues. If she sees us, she'll be all over you."

"No she won't." James said nervously. Thinks for a second. "She wouldn't….she doesn't like the rogues….she not THAT bad." Thinks again. "Ok….I'm in"

"Ok….so…who has fake weapons?" Hannah asks

"Ummmmm…." Jake looks through his pockets, "I have REAL weapons." He grimaces

"That could work too." Sarah smiles

"Let's do this-" Paula stands up and smirks. She gives her brother a kiss on the cheek "I'm proud of you-"

xBMx

The six emerge from the bushes like something you'd see in a comic book. They smirk and look as menacing as they possibly could, trying not to giggle like the group of teenagers they truly are. Years of useless school play acting classes truly paid off.

Jake opens his mouth to say something and before he does they realize there's a panic running throughout the whole fair.

"I don't get it….we didn't SAY anything yet-" James inquires as he scratches his straw hat.

Harry immediately picks out his mothers tantrum screaming, a voice he hasn't heard since he was two and accidentally spilled his fruit punch all over the new white carpet. "Oh no…."

"What! I don't get it. What's going on? Everyone's acting as If we don't exist." Paula looks over to Harry, concerned.

"It's my mom. Something bad happened…." Harry answers with a worry look on his face. He hears his mom's voice screaming.

"TRISTAN? WHERE'S MY BABY? I LOST MY BABY!"

A look of shock spreads across Harry's face. "They did something to my brother!"

"Wait! You don't know that!" Sarah tries to sound comforting, "He….probably just got lost through the crowd."

"He never leaves my mom's side! They did something to him!"

A group of people surround Harry's distressed mom and father who is trying his best to calm his wife down but failing.

"I'm sure he's around here somewhere-"

"Lady!lady! It's a small fair, we'll find him, don't worry!"

"Batman will be here soon! It's just a note saying he's gonna be gone forever, that means nothing! He's…fine!"

The poor woman goes into even bigger hysterics. Like every major Gotham event though, Bruce was there. He sneaks into the back of the crowd and seems to disappear.

With little coincidence, Batman then comes out of nowhere and taps Jake on the shoulder. In his deep,disguised voice grabs him by the neck and says "What did you do with the kid!"

Jakes practically screams, "What! I didn't do anything! I didn't even know Harry had a little brother until 3 days ago!"

"Who's Harry!" Batman tightens his grip. The others just back away, knowing they can't do anything to help.

Jake gags from being choked, "This kid! I didn't touch them! I swear! I'm not a bad guy! I'm on YOUR side!"

"What kind of sick game are you playing here, Joker!" He finally lets him down though, sensing the truth and genuine fear in his eyes.

"Look….look we need to go. I'm sorry Batman….I'm sorry but we-we have to find Tristan" Harry takes Paula by the arm and starts to run. Everyone follows, hoping Batman won't hurt them.

Batman grabs Sarah's arm before she has the time to run and has never been this confused before, "Selina….what's going on?"

"L-let GO of me! Please!"

At the sound of Sarah's scream Evan comes over and by instinct punches Batman in the face. "OW! THAT HURT SO DAMN MUCH!"

Sarah clings onto Evan and lifts her head up to kiss him, lovingly and sweetly.

Batman's Face- 0.o

His point of view is the love of his life pretty much making out with one of his enemies. You gotta feel bad for the poor bastard.

"Let's run…." Evan doesn't have time to think about what just happens, all he knows is that they have a long night ahead of them. They leave footprints in the sand as they disappear into the Shadows of Gotham City Park.


	14. We Found Us

**Author's Note: Sorry for not updating in two years. We kinda suck…**

Jack hits Harley over the head and rolls his eyes . "Way to go, you dumb slut. You got yourself kicked to Military school. What is WRONG with you?"

Harley hasn't smiled in the time she's been in the gang's presence which is new for her. Pamela puts her arm around her and sighs deeply. "It's going to be Ok. We'll figure this out Harley. We all hate seeing you so sad-" She glares daggers at everyone else "DON'T we?"

Edward nods, "Oh-oh yeah. Of course we do." Is so concerned with Caroline, he would agree to anything because he's so distracted.

"I hate this!" Harley cries. "I miss my old body. Remember? The one the was taller and could do the splits?"

"Yes, Harley, we know. We've just switched bodies. We haven't lost our memory." Harvey rolls his eyes at the dumb blonde. "Why don't we just look for our bodies? I'm tired of just waiting."

Hearing screams in the distance, Selina turns around and sneers. "You know, I think that part's already been done for us. I hear chaos, that's our calling."

Jack, tired of having the body of a teenage dreamboat, takes off running the second that Selina points it out. "Ah, the screams. How I've missed you so-"

The gang, without much hesitation, take off after him.

"ME! I've missed you so so so much!" Harley spots her old body and ambushes Hannah with a tight embrace. "Don't you EVER run off like that again!"

"My-my body?" Hannah is stunned and pushes Harley away. "You-you horrible person! Do you know what you've put me through? Give me back my body!"

Jake is being practically molested by Jack in his body. "It-s me! Wh-What have you done to my hair?! And…SHIT!" He instinctively kicks Jack away, "I was just being attacked by the Joker!"

The kids, now fully aware who's touching them, scream loudly and shove them away.

"St-Step back. We mean no harm…." Harvey has never imagined the day would come he would be saying that to himself.

"James? What's going on?" Jenny, who of course was following him, runs up not in the least bit scared of the rogues.

"Jenny?" James' face beams when he sees the girl of his dreams approach them. "Jenny! It's me! James. I told you! We switched bodies with the villains."

Jenny studies the group of people around her and simply shrugs. "Neat."

Edward groans, "Enough of this! How do we fix this!? I'm tired of people looking at me like I'm stupid and having a 5 inch-"

"Yeah, I'm tired of people looking at us like we're evil…" Harry interrupts. "But we can't switch back just yet…as much as I want to-"

"AND WHY THE HELL NOT!?" Harvey screams. Harry jumps back in fear but then Paula comes to his rescue and stands in front of him. "Because we need to find his brother before Batman takes us to jail for simply being here." She says this with such force, everyone sort of just shuts up and listens.

"We just need to focus on getting Tristan. Please. While you got to stay in our comfy beds and have people who think they love you take care of you, we've had to go through hell not even being able to walk through the streets at day without someone fearing us. The least you can do, is help us find the kid." Paula holds her breath at the end, afraid that they're going to yell at her or hurt her, but then Edward speaks up.

"You're right. Your mom's been so kind to me. We'll help you find Tristan."

"What?" Pamela looks to Edward. "Why the hell do you care?"

"Why the hell don't you!?" He retorts and he walks over to where Jenny and James are.

"Yeah uh, I'll help too." Selina says, softly.

Jonathon is looking at James and Jenny and how happy they look and for a quick moment he kinda gets it. Only kind of. "Yeah, sure. Why not. We look more normal than you guys, anyways." He walks over to James and takes the mask off his head. "Stop wearing the damn mask. You look fine."

Jenny smiles and nods. "Yah, but you looked cuter when you were 15. You could've just told me you switched bodies."

"I did! You screamed and bit me!"

"Really? That doesn't sound like me…"

Harvey takes a deep breath and he shoves his coin in his pocket. "Where would Tristan go?"

Harry, no longer fearing Harvey, steps out from behind Paula and answers, "He would go to the…to the pier. He would go to the pier."

"The one next to Arkham?" Jonathon asks, sounding a bit anxious.

Harry nods. "But it's Ok, because you aren't the one 's who have to be scared. It's us."

"Yah, if you guys go then no one will recognize you." Evan smiles thinking of the bright idea.

"But-but-but-" Harley stutters not knowing how to get out of this. "But I don't wanna!"

"Well, that sucks for you, doesn't it?" Hannah glares down at Harley. "If you don't go, then I promise you I will make your life so miserable, you'll beg to be put in Arkham"

"Damn Hannah," Jake smiles at her and rests his hand on her shoulder. "That was amazing."

"Don't touch me," Hannah shrugs his hand away and glares at him.

Jake backs off and looks to the ground, "Ok…"

"Stop making me seem like such a wuss! You, girl!" Jack screams at Jake.

Harry steps towards Paula and hides behind her again. "I'm more scared of Hannah now."

Sarah rolls her eyes and takes Evan by the hand. "Come on! We got a lot of ground to cover. I'm not waiting for you people anymore. I'm leaving!"

One by one everyone sort of sets their differences aside and wither willingly or unwillingly, stalks out into the night to find Tristan.


	15. Getting Down to Business

**Authors Note: Reading back on this, the co-author and I have come to the conclusion that we were really stupid. This entire thing is terrible. If you're still out there reading this, thanks for sticking with us. But we are aware that despite how "cute" you think our writing style is, you have to admit…the plot has SO MANY HOLES. We're juniors now and started writing this in 7****th**** grade. 4 years has made an improvement, do yourself a favor and read our other stuff. We are finishing this because we've gone this far and we might as well continue. So here are our last couple of chapters. Enjoy**

Leaving the fair was the easy part. People were too scared of the rumors that the villains were there to really pay attention to them stalking around at the edge of the woods with a bunch of teenagers.

It was silent. The words unspoken made the biggest impact on the group who had so many unanswered questions and yet didn't know where to even begin. Sarah breaks the silence with a small, little inquiry about her father. "Catwoman? Assuming you've been living with my dad these past couple of days, how is he? Is he Ok? You haven't hurt him, have you?"

Selina looks down at the necklace around her neck and takes it off. She stops and puts it in Sarah's hands, closing her fingers around it. "Selina. Call me Selina. And he's fine. Don't worry, I'm a thief not a maniac."

"I'm a maniac," Jack says, shoving his hands in his adolescent pockets. "I screwed up your room, told your parents you were gay, and I THINK I left some suspicious looking stains all around your closet. Your welcome, buddy. Your mom is a bitch-"

"You son of a-"

"Hey, calm down. I'm sure it's not that big of deal," Hannah says reassuringly.

"Oh! And you're going to military school!" Harley cheered.

"What!?"

"Don't worry, Hannah. I'm sure it's not THAT big of a deal." Jake smirks, only to get a sudden death glare from Hannah.

"This ISN'T funny, Jake! I've tried to stay calm this whole time! Can we just get through this thing without lashing out at each other?"

"Ah, young love." Jack smirks and nudges Harvey. "Right, buddy?"

Harvey, feeling a little bit guilty for Tristan's disappearance gives him a half, distracted smile. "Yeah. Sure. What he said-"

"Why does everyone have such a stick up their ass? You guys, we're young again. We aren't being chased down by a giant man dressed as a rodent! Come on-give a great big smile-"

"I'm sorry, what was that last part you said?" A voice from the shadows speaks up and everyone halts right where they are.

Jack, not noticing, keeps walking. "I said to smile because we aren't being followed by the big, black-" Batman hops down from the treetops right in front of what he thinks is Jake's body and holds up a batarang in one hand and an already formed fist in the other. "Ever heard of Juvenile Hall?"

Paula, the voice of reason, steps up as Poison Ivy. "Mr. Batman…we can explain" is trying to keep her voice from shaking.

Jake, in a state of shock….again…..loses it…..again. "BATMAN! It's you! Thank goodness you're here. Ok. So we have a kid missing. His name's Tristan, he's about this high and-" Batman grabs Jake by the throat and squeezes just enough so he can't talk properly but not enough to kill him. "Joker-what kind of sick games are you and the others playing at here? Getting teenagers to follow you around and join in on your sick, twisted scehemes is something I thought dirt like you wouldn't even stoop to-"

Jake tries to talk but is in too deep of a state of shock to really do much. He stands there, helpless. Evan looks to Batman with sincere eyes and tries to talk sense into him. "Listen, Mr. Batguy? We really need you to cooperate and let go of our friend's neck there before you like….kill him or something"

Selina steps up and tugs on Batman's cape. She hops onto his back and whispers harshly in ear "Bruce Wayne if you don't let go of this boy's neck I will make sure everyone knows who you really are. Let. GO"

Batman lets go. Confused and not knowing what to believe, despite his better judgment he steps back trying to take all of this in. The Riddler talking like an idiot? The Joker being pathetic? A little girl knowing his secret identity? At this point, he doesn't know what to believe. The last time he saw the villains and now has confused him so desperately, he begins to do something he never does….he begins to second guess himself.

So, as Batman stood there, terribly confused, Harley did what she would normally do in this situation. She took advantage of this rare opportunity, and knocks him out cold.

"Harley! What did you do that for? He was beginning to believe us!" Selina is just about ready to claw Harley's eyes out, but is held back by Edward.

"Wait. Harley might have done the right thing for once. With Batman knocked out, we can look for the kid without him intervening."

"Ummm yah…That's what I was trying to do…duh." Harley smiles sweetly, hiding the fact that she just likes to hit people.

"We need to tie him up. Jack, Edward, give me your belt." Harvey takes his off and grabs the belts from the other two. He attaches them and with Selina's help, drags him off to a nearby tree. Selina gives him a kiss on the cheek and whispers "Sorry, hun-" into his ear as she help ties him up. "You guys do know the minute he wakes up he can break through a couple of cheap belts, right?"

Edward nods "Exactly. That's why we need to do this fast. Come on, kids, Stop just standing there. You have nothing to fear. "

"Then why do I feel like I have everything to fear?" James mumbles, scared and petrified he'll be ending the night in an Arkham cell.

Jenny grabs his hand and squeezes it tightly. "It's going to be Ok."

"We should split up…." Harvey suggests. Half of us go to look for the toxic and figure out a way to get it to work again the way it did before. The other half goes to look for the kid-"

"But what if something happens? We'll be lost." Evan points out.

"I say we just look for the toxic and screw the kid-" Pamela says with a cold voice.

"No. We can't do that-" Harvey says with a neutral voice.

"Better idea" Edward pipes up. "The kids will stay in the woods. They can't be anywhere near Arkham. We need to hide them and get Tristan ourselves. Then together, we'll get the toxic and end the night with our correct bodies."

"Nah, I like Ivy's idea," Jack says. "Or, we could find the kid and kill him!"

"No! We just need to get through the night without killing anyone."

"Wait, you just want us to hide in the woods alone, while you freaks go find my little brother? I'm going to."

"Harry, you might get caught," Jake reminds him, afraid for his best friend's safety.

"So? I'd rather make sure Tristan's safe and sound."

Harvey lets out an annoyed sigh. "Fine, Mr. Noble big brother can come along."

"What about your list?" Paula interjects. "You made it this morning. And you told yourself you were going to find our bodies and go home tonight. What if you get to Arkham? Then you'd have no one to blame but yourself. Let the police worry about your brother-"

"FUCK MY LIST!" Harry takes it out of his pocket and rips it up. "I get it, Paula. You liked the nice, organized Harry that was dependable and always on schedule but guess what? We can't plan out every single damn moment of our lives. Did you ever think in a million years this was going to happen to us!? No! My lists do nothing. They help organize my thoughts. Well right now, all that's on my mind is my brother. Come on-we're wasting time-"

Batman begins to stir and Harry knocks him out again with a swift kick to the head. He walks away, fists jammed in his pocket, and the last thing Paula sees before he disappears farther into the woods is the bad side of two face's face.

The villains follow him, and hesitantly so do the teenagers. Dragging their feet behind, is Pamela, Paula, and Jack. But after a moment's hesitation they follow their friends. They walk farther into the woods than they've ever walked before in the darkening silence but after 15 minutes of walking, like a shining beacon of hope, they see the tip of Arkham Asylum before them.


	16. In The Woods

As the villains and Harry continued on towards Arkham, the others stayed behind at the edge of woods and waited patiently in the awkward silence, until Evan spoke.

"Sooooo, anyone have a good ghost story?"

"Evan, this isn't the time. We're all pretty freaked out right now," Jake says gloomily.

"I'm just trying to make it a bit more fun for us-" Evan says, disappointed.

Sarah smiles softly and rests her head on Evan's shoulder. "It's Ok. Jake is just a bit paranoid and just got strangled by his idol. Give him sometime to just, relax."

"I agree with Evan. He's being a diva-" Hannah says, angry. "Everything is always about him. Jake this and Jake that. You know what I think? I think that we wouldn't even be in this mess if it weren't for Jake. It was his idea to go to that park that NO ONE goes to anymore. I blame him-"

"There really is no need to put any blame on him, he's-"

"He's what!?" Hannah interrupts Sarah, boiling with anger at this point. "He's just a kid? We ALL are. He's just upset? We're ALL upset. He's just scared? We're ALL scared. Why is this about him if we're all in the same position?!"

"Maybe because Jake, Harry, and I look like the monsters these people are. You, Evan, Sarah, and James look like normal people but WE don't. We look hideous. If we end up being stuck like this our lives are OVER. Harry probably doesn't realize that but Jake does" Paula screams at Hannah. "I realize it! I look like the incredible hulk. If we fail to switch bodies what does the world have in store for me!?"

"Yeah! What Paula said!" Jake yells, equally as angry as the girls. "I don't want to be the Joker for the rest of my life because I decided to go to the park one afternoon! This isn't fair!"

"What isn't fair is all of you screaming at each other when we're trying to hide away! Will you guys just shut up!?" Sarah says with a soft but harsh tone of voice. "We could be heard!"

"Sarah's right." Evan says softly. "We need to just calm down and stay together and stay quiet for a little while longer. We need to have faith-"

"G-guys?"

"What do you want Jonathon!?" Paula turns around, pissed.

"I-I think I hear something." Jonathon makes a 360 around himself and looks like he's about to piss his pants. "I'm serious"

"We're in the middle of the woods. NO ONE is here" Paula exclaims. At that moment, the Mad Hatter appears to her right and as she looks over she screams bloody murder.

"Why so scared?" Jervis chuckles, "It's just me" He looks to Jonathon and smiles "Hey, long time no see. Where have you guys been these past few days? The Penguin and I were starting to get a bit antsy. We were waiting on those toxics you guys were supposed to get us. So we took the liberty of getting some ourselves" He holds up a vile of green, ooze. "There was this huge accident at the nuclear plant a week or so ago and it was surprisingly easy to get a hold of."

"No! I'm NOT dealing with another sick freak!" Hannah screams.

"Huh? What are you talking about-" Before Jervis could get any explanation, Hannah did what she would never do, she knocks him out.

"Hannah! What did you do that for!?" Jake screams at her. "You can't just knock random people out!"

"I can if they have the toxic that we need," she smiles and holds up the vile victoriously. "You're welcome."

"But you-you…wow, that actually worked. But what do we do about him?"

"Him? He honestly doesn't seem that threatening. I mean, if Hannah can knock him out, how dangerous could he possibly be?" Evan says and he gently kicks Jervis' face.

"Come on, help me get him to a tree. We need to hide his body for now." Jenny says as she bends down and Jake comes to her aide. As they begin to drag his body, a little remote falls out of his coat pocket. Jake steps on it without another thought as they continue to take him to a tree.

"What do we do with the vile?" Sarah says, examining it. "It barely looks like enough to drink let alone for all of us to be covered in it."

"We'll have to figure that out when the others get here-" Evan says. As if on cue, Harry comes running up, panting. "Guys! Guys have you seen the Mad Hatter!?"

The villains run up behind him, equally as scared and in a panic.

"Yes we did! We knocked him out! And look what we got!" Hannah holds up the vile, proud.

Jack walks up to Jervis' body and sees the broken remote on the ground. "What. Did. You. Do?" Terrified, another body enters the clearing in the woods and the villains turn around, speechless.


	17. Really Mad Circumstances

The villains walk away from the teenagers with Harry, leaving them in an empty spot at the edge of the woods. "The pier, you said?" Harvey clarifies turning to Harry.

"Yeah. We went there for a camping trip once. He said he wanted to be a sailor when he grew up. He asks to go there every summer. That's where he'd be-"

"Save the sob stories. All you had to say was yes" Jack says, moving up front. "Im getting real sick and tired of you kids and if you did't have our bodies, I'd mutilate you."

"Thanks…"Harry says, rolling his eyes. It wasn't the first time an annoying comment has come out of that body. "And if you guys didn't look like my friends I'd be a million times more intimidated"

"Don't be! We're just a bunch of crazies." Harley says, skipping out of the woods and into the grassy clearing. "Wow, Arkham looks so pretty when I'm not chained up being dragged to it!"

Edward looks up and observes it. "Harley's right…it really is" As they begin to walk closer and closer to the pier, they walk with a quicker pace. Not scared of the asylum, they do their best to surround Harry and they begin to call out for Tristan.

"Tristan!? Tristan come out if you can here me!"

"Are you here!? Tristan!? You little freak, where are you!?"

"Tristan you have nothing to fear! We're here to find you!"

The Gotham City lighthouse looms over them and the pier becomes clearer. "Should we split up?" Selina suggests, getting a bit worried Batman will be conscious soon.

"No. Best we stay together in case something happens." Edward says.

"Tristan!?" Harry continues to call out, louder and louder. "Can you hear me!?"

"Say, does your brother have blonde hair?" Harley asks.

"Yah."

"And green eyes?"

"Yes?"

"About seven years old?"

"Yah"

"And does he happen to wear a huge hat and carry guns around?"

"No!"

"Oh, then, never mind!"

"Why?"

"I was just wonderin' because there's a blonde haired, green eyed, seven year-old wearing a huge hat and pointing a gun at us. But if it's not your brother, then never mind."

"What?"

Everyone looks to where Harley is beckoning and they gasp at the sight before them. Tristan, with dead eyes, is looking straight ahead of him, the gun in his hand cocked and ready to blow.

"It's one of Jervis' hats" Jonathon says, shocked and scared he's going to die at the hands of his best friend.

"No shit, Sherlock." Edward says with annoyance. He steps back, looking around for where their mad friend would be.

"Jervis!" Jonathon calls. "Where are you!? Jervis!?" There's a sense of panic in his voice.

"Why is my brother holding a gun!?" Harry exclaims, being held back by Selina from running over to his brother.

"Ah, perfect." Jervis comes up behind the group and they all turn around, forming a circle with their backs inside and them facing their two current enemies on the outside.

"People to test out my new minion. His name is Tristan; I'm assuming you're acquainted with him. You see, no one would ever suspect a poor little boy scout of carrying poison with him. You like my thinking? The Joker would be so proud of me"

"No I'm not!" Jack yells. "Get the stupid hat of the kid! What are you doing, Jervis? We've told you not to experiment outside of Arkham!"

"How do you know my-nevermind that. You little brats are going to die soon, anyways. The hat has been stitched into his head. In order to rip it off, you need to take him to a hospital. Or else he'll die. And no one would ever get to a hospital with a murderous little boy….he'll kill you, first."

"Ok…I'm a LITTLE impressed. A little." Jack admits.

Harry comes up behind Jervis and taps him on the shoulder. When he heard Jervis coming he hid behind a tree and realizing he's the only one who can save everyone, he decided to step out and show himself. "Listen, I think you need to uh-reconsider your plans"

Jervis turns around, surprised to see Twoface in front of him. "Oh, wow. There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you guys. Did you hear my little explanation of my little murderer?"

"Yah, it sounds… great," Harry says through his teeth, trying really hard not to kill Jervis for using his little brother. "Listen, don't use your "project" on these brats. Wait until we find The Bat. The others are waiting at the edge of the woods for you. I'll take care of the kids."

"Excellent idea! Wait, you're not going to even flip your coin?"

"Ummmm I did it while you were explaining?"

"Oh! Alright then!" Jervis says he skips off into the woods with Tristan following.

"Psh, freak." Jack rolls his eyes. "Although that was a pretty good idea."

"Thanks." Harry says as he watches Jervis run into the woods.

"Yeah-he really had me going there. I thought I was going to die tonight." Jonathon admits, rubbing his neck and taking a deep breath.

"We don't have time to waste-" Selina says, starting after them. "We need to get to the kids before Jervis does. Otherwise they may blow our cover and they'll die."

"Leave it to Jervis to screw up everything." Edward says, taking off after Selina.

"Hasn't he always?" Pamela says. And with that note, they all take off back into the woods. But by the time they get there, it's too late.

""Guys! Guys have you seen the Mad Hatter!?"

The villains run up behind Evan.

"Yes we did! We knocked him out! And look what we got!" Hannah holds up the vile, proud.

Jack walks up to Jervis' body and sees the broken remote on the ground. "What. Did. You. Do?" Terrified, another body enters the clearing in the woods and the villains turn around, speechless.

Tristan walks forward, gun in hand, aimed straight at Jake's face.

Jake, who has had enough surprises for a lifetime, is about to pass out.

"WHAT DO WE DO!?" Sarah screams, not caring now if an Arkham person hears them. "He's going to kill us if we don't do something! He's being mind controlled by the Mad Hatter, isn't he!?"

"Exactly! I don't know what to do!" Jonathon says, loudly. Tristan keeps walking towards Jake almost like a zombie.

"I have an idea!" Evan exclaims. He takes a gun out of his bowler hat.

"DON'T shoot my brother!" Harry yells.

"I wasn't going to!" Evan screams back over the commotion and he hits Tristan really hard in the head right when he was about to pull the trigger. Evan grabs the gun as Tristan falls over, knocked out.

"Evan, what are you doing with the gun?" Sarah asks.

"Hannah, hold up the vile!"

"You're going to shoot the vile?" Hannah asks, a bit unsure.

"Vile of what?" Selina asks.

"Toxic. Jervis collected it." Jenny quickly explains.

"Why are we shooting it? That would do nothing!" Edward says.

"Don't you remember? It wasn't the toxic itself that switched our bodies. It was the cloud fumes. That day we tried to go out of our shelter? There was a report of weird things going around the east side of Gotham. It couldn't have been the toxic itself because they cleaned it up pretty quickly. It had to be the fact that we breathed it in! Don't you get it?"

"Evan….you said something smart. I'm so proud of you" Paula says, astonished.

"Psh, and people say I needed summer school. Jenny-you should hold it. We don't want you getting involved in this anymore than you already are. Just hold it against the wind so it doesn't blow into you."

Jenny takes the vile from Hannah and stands against so the wind is blowing at her back.

"I'll do the honors" Jack says taking the gun from Evan. He closes his eyes. "Let's hope this work…"

The teens hold hands with their bodies, nodding their head to Jack. They take a deep breath. "Yeah…. yeah we're ready."

In the background, Asylum guards are seen with flashlights searching for the voices they hear in the woods. "Let's hurry this up-" Jonathon says, we have a lot of explaining to do.

Hannah and Jake exchange a glance and smile. "Ok….let's do this-" Jake says, closing his eyes.

"One…" Jack cocks the gun and Harley squeals.

"Two…." Jack says, aiming and getting ready to shoot the vile.

"Three-" The trigger is pulled, the vile breaks, green smoke comes out of the broken glass that seeps into Jenny's hand who screams and holds her hand. The fumes blow towards the group, and they pass out.


	18. Epilogue

Authors Note: Here it is. The last chapter. Thanks for reading this far and ending this 4 years journey with us.

Jake wakes up in a hospital room, his friends and Tristan in beds next to and across from him. He sits up and holds his head. "What the-" He looks around, confused and then realizes what happened. He gasps and looks down at his hands, happy to see that his hands are back. He feels his hand, his face, his legs, and he laughs. Relieved, he can't help but just let all of his anxiety wash out in a good laugh, happy he has his life back.

Bruce Wayne walks into the room, smiling. "Good to see you've woken up" he says. "It's about time one of you did. We were starting to get a bit worried."

"Bruce Wayne? What are you doing here?" Jake tries to get up even more but a tube that he didn't realize was put into his arm stops him.

"Whoa whoa, calm down. You've been here for a couple of days. They needed to get water and meds into you somehow. Don't leave your bed, I'll come to you."

"I'm confused. What happened? Why are you here? Where's Tristan? Are my friends Ok? What happened to the Joker-"

Bruce holds up his hand to silence him. "Tristan is fine. Arkham guards found you all and immediately called the hospital. An Ambulance came and performed surgery on Tristan to get the hat off his head and Jenny whose skin reacted poorly to the direct contact with poisonous toxic that was meddled with by the Penguin and Mad Hatter. That is why you guys didn't wake up till two days. The toxic switched your bodies back but at a slower rate and we needed to hospitalize all of you in case side effects were dangerous."

"You knew?" Jake asks, astonished. "But how did you-"

Bruce puts his fingers to his lips. "Can you keep a secret?"

Jake raises an eyebrow and his eyes widen when Bruce takes off his hat to reveal a bump on his head where Harley and Harry knocked him out. "You're…..wait you, but how….that makes SO MUCH SENSE!" Jake is about to piss his pants out of excitement now. "But there are so many unanswered questions I mean Robin and Batgirl. And the villains! They aren't dead are they? Not,..that I care or anything. OMG! Can I be Robin? Have you seen my room? My mom didn't let you in my room, did she? Omg I completely forgot do our parents know? I don't want her thinking I'm gay! I'm not gay I'm just obsessed with yo-I mean Batman. I need a drink…"

Bruce chuckles and puts his hat back on. "Your parents all think that you guys were kidnapped and replaced with replicas of you by Jervis the Mad Hatter. Then we used Tristan as an example so they'd believe us more. The villains are fine. They technically did not commit any crimes and as an award were granted a leave of absence for a little as requested by Caroline who claims that without the villains, you all would be dead. Hannah's father, although a bit unsure about all of it, backed her up and all of them are out and about causing mischief. They'll be back where they belong soon enough though. They always are. And thanks to you guys-" Bruce pulls out a map of all the villain's hideouts. "I now have this."

"So, that's it? Everything goes back to normal now? What about James and Jenny? Won't the orphanage be mad at them? They broke so many rules."

"Luckily, Caroline had offered to adopt them both. I can't promise that everything will be normal. Nothing in Gotham is. But I can promise that I will do what ever I can to keep the villain from ever giving you any trouble." Bruce gives him a reassuring smile. "If you ever need anything, you know where to go." He turns and begins to exit the room.

"Wait-"

"No. You can't be Robin." And he walks off without another word.

In the bed beside Jake's, Hannah begins to stir and she opens her eyes sleepily. She smiles over at Jake, but her smile fades. "J-jake? Is that you?"

"Hey, Hannah. Yah, it's me." He smiles back.

"Is-is everything OK?" She asks weakly.

He nods, smiling. "Yes, Hannah." He looks after Bruce with a huge grin on his face. "Everything is going to be Ok now-" he says reaching over and holding her hand.

"No! Jonathon I will not let you win this game of chess! Do you not have any integrity?" Jervis says, appalled Jonathon even asked the question.

"You almost killed us. And then we helped you escape out of Arkham despite almost killing us." Jonathon remarks with a smirk on his face.

Jervis sighs and tips over his king, his shoulders shrugged without another word.

"Will you two stop your bickering? I'm waiting for Edward to come back with our blueprint for our newest scheme. And THIS one is going to be good-" Jack says, throwing a dart at a picture of Batman.

Edward comes in whistling, a huge grin on his face.

"What's got you so happy?" Selina asks, amused.

"I just did something good-" Edward says.

"Good!? Is that even a word allowed in this hideout!?" Jack exclaims, pissed. "You were SUPPOSED to be out making blueprints for my next elaborate plan! This is what we do!"

"Sorrry. I got distracted."

"Yeah Mr. J! He was out donating half of our money!" Harley exclaims, bouncing into the room.

"HE WAS WHAT!?" Jack turns around, his face red with anger.

"I donated the money to Caroline." Edward calmly announces, hanging up his bowler hat.

"That bitch that housed us?" Pamela asks.

"Yeah. One of our "Elaborate" plans made her a widow. The least I could do is donate money to her husband's business."

"Wow, it's like you're a completely different person now-" Harvey says, smirking. "Did you at least get anything in return?"

"Of course I did-" He chuckles and winks at Harvey. "I told you I did something good, didn't I?"

4 days later

Paula is sitting in Harry's lap, playing with his hair. "What are we doing today, babe?"

Harry chuckles and shrugs. "I don't know. Let's just go with the flow."

"I know what we're not going to do. We're NOT going to that park-" Jake says, hugging his new girlfriend around her waist.

"Yah, that's sounds like a good plan." Hannah rests her head on his shoulder and has turned back into her quiet self again, although, all of them are terrified of making her angry ever again.

"Soooo, we don't go to the park? Do we just sit here then? I'm bored! We only have a month of summer vacation left!" Evan complains, slumping over.

Sarah can't help but giggle and pats him on the head. "We could do some summer home work assignments."

"How about YOU sign my yearbook?" Hannah says, remembering what Jake never remembered to do. She turns around and finds it shoved in her bag, throwing it and a pen in Jake's face.

Jake laughs and uncaps the pen. "Alright alright. Hold your horses. I'll write-" When Hannah tries to read over his shoulder he blocks her away.

"Well, it's official!" James comes in with his arm around Jenny. "We're now part of the family. And before Harry says anything, no. I looked it up. It's not weird I'm dating my adoptive sister."

Harry and the others laugh and Jonathon kisses Jenny on the cheek.

"So everything is Ok?" Sarah says, smiling. She's happy she now has friends and is secretly happy they switched bodies with the villains.

Jake looks up to Wayne Enterprises and smiles widely as he looks up from his finished yearbook entry. "Yeah. We're going to have a great summer ahead of us-"

_Dear Hannah,_

_I know that you and I have been through a lot weird stuff this summer, and I know that both of us said a lot of stupid stuff to each other. But I'm actually glad that it happened. Well, I'm not glad that it happened, but I'm happy that you were there with me, because I know that if you weren't, I would have probably gone crazy, and I'm sorry it took me so long to figure that out._

_The eight of us have a great future ahead of us. _

_Love,_

_Jake_

_P.S. Please don't knock anyone out ever again._

"You know what I still don't get?" Edward asks as the rogues sit down to a stolen dinner.

"Wow, you don't get something?" Selina asks sarcastically, getting ready for a date with Bruce.

"Why did we all switch with people who had similar names to us? And how is it we were able to switch back perfectly fine without anything happening to the SAME bodies?! And how did toxic even switch our bodies to begin with? I mean, none of this really makes any sense!" He exclaims with frustration.

"Just go with it, you moron-" Jack says as he takes a bite out of some chicken. "Nothing ever makes sense in Gotham"


End file.
